This Week #12 | Quality Time

Friday, December 08, 2017

This week has been good. It started with a visit from the bereavement midwife. I was ridiculously nervous about meeting her but I needn't have been. She was really lovely, and told me about the support I could receive from the hospital, we talked about my experience, and she answered a few questions I had. It's not until you go through something like this that you realise how common it is, that you're not alone, and that there is a lot of help available should you want it.

We talked of how quality time spent with your partner is essential, so I went to work with Andy again one morning. We did a lot of driving around and it was the perfect time to just chat and be together. Once we'd done all of his chores I persuaded him to take me to my favourite florist to buy wreath making supplies. Now we just need to pick some holly, which we'll do together.

Early in the week I spent a day with my Mum. We'd planned a morning at Crafty Coffee in Felixstowe, eating scones and painting pottery. I had my heart set on painting a large bauble in lots of bright colours for our tree. But our plans were thwarted when we arrived and found that it was closed.

Not to be discouraged, we wandered the shops instead. We both did some Christmas shopping (thankfully Felixstowe is blissfully free of crowds), and we ended up in a lovely cafe - £3.00 for a pot of tea and an Earl Grey tea, how good is that? And you can park all day for £2.00. It has some pretty good charity shops too, it's fast becoming one of my favourite places. Oh, and of course there is the beach and the sea to enjoy. And fish 'n' chips, ice cream and candyfloss.


We decided to return to Crafty Coffee a few days later. It's a lovely way to bookend the week, I painted a bauble and a Santa Claus and I'm so looking forward to seeing how they turn out.

The rest of the week was spent doing a little work, making plans for my hanging baskets and container pots (I know I'm a bit late in doing this but I haven't felt up to it until now). I've been taking apart in two Instagram prompts #adventtoshare, organised by Rosalyn Oxer, and #fmspad, organised by Fat Mum Slim. Both have made me feel rather festive and have given me a small, positive daily focus. And I've been strutting around the house in my new-to-me boots, I do love a good ebay win!

As for how I'm feeling, my surgery was a month ago and physically I feel good, a little tired at times but other than that I've made a good recovery. Emotionally though I know there is a lot to come. I'm usually a crier, so many things start me off - simple things, silly things, and every thing in between. But I've hardly cried at all, I still feel like it happened to someone else. I have moments of sadness, I think about it several times a day, and I can talk about what happened but I can't put into words how I feel about it, because I still feel numb. I know it will take time, that grief will come in many forms, and won't ever go away completely, but I wish it would hurry up. It feels wrong to feel so normal.

On a happier note, we're getting our Christmas tree this weekend, and we're going to my Mum's for a roast lamb lunch - my Mum's husband used to be a chef and his meals are always divine and plentiful. And I'm hoping to catch up with my two best friends soon too. There's plenty to look forward to.

What exciting plans do you have for the coming week?

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16 comments

  1. Roast lamb sounds amazing. We have put up our Christmas tree this weekend!

    http://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. The roast lamb was as amazing as I knew it would be. Thankfully I wore forgiving trousers :)
      We put our tree up this weekend too, it's one of my favourite parts of Christmas!
      xx

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  2. Surgery is a massive thing, it makes us feel vulnerable and disconnected with ourselves for a lot longer than the fading scars. Your lovely nurse's tips sound just the thing, spending quality time with Andy and filling your time doing enjoyable things.
    Your day out with your mum sounded lovely. What a bargain cafe you visited!
    Hope you have a wonderful weekend and continue being cared for. xxx

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    1. You're absolutely right, disconnected is a good way to describe it. People keep saying take your time, look after yourself' and I think 'yeah, yeah, I'm fine' but then something will remind me that I'm not. I'm just not very good at being patient, or being a patient for that matter.
      Our days out were lovely, and we'll definitely be going back to the cafe!
      xx

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  3. So glad to hear you had a good week and that you were able to spend somen quality time with Andy and your Mum. Felixstowe sounds lovely, especially as it's blissfully free of crowds, wich is the complete opposite of Antwerp. We haven't put up the tree yet, but have bought a few vintage baubles today ... xxx

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    1. Felixstowe is a nice place, it's so relaxed. It can get busy but I avoid those times ;)
      I imagine Antwerp gets a lot of visitors at this time of year? I'll look forward to seeing your vintage baubles :(
      xx

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  4. I am glad that meeting the bereavement midwife was helpful. I am also so glad you got to go to FelixstoWE! Did you go in Poor Richard's bookshop or the Castle bookshop? The charity shops are great! The swimming pool is also very nice!xx

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    1. I didn't go into any bookshops - too dangerous - but I will seek them out one day. I haven't been to the swimming pool in years.
      xx

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  5. It sounds like you're spending some lovely time with your husband and family, very important at a time like this. I think the grieving process will happen in its own time, we all handle these things differently and there's no right and wrong way to go about it.

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    1. You're absolutely right. I've decided to let it be, to stop willing it to happen, and just let it happen - whenever that may be.
      xx

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  6. Glad to hear you're healing little by little, Hazel. We're putting our tree up this weekend as well so I'll be sure to buy in a load of mulled wine to accompany it. Other than that, I'm getting my hair trimmed on Saturday and Mr P is going to meet me in town at a nearby pub for dinner before we head to another pub to catch the football. Can't believe it's only 2.5 weeks until Christmas! I hope you manage some extra quality time with Andy over the festive period although I know a farmers' life is very hard x

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    1. I normally have a mug of tea whilst decorating the tree, but I like your idea better!
      Christmas is the time of year that Andy is around the most, luckily as he's arable there are no animals to feed :)
      xx

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  7. I love your hand painted baubles, they're so cute! x

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    1. Thank you, I can't wait to pick them up and see how they turned out. I've reserved a good spot on the tree for them :)
      xx

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  8. I missed this post so sorry i didnt comment before. We all heal ourselves in different ways I hope you will be able to let out your grief in your own time and your own way. I hope 2018 brings good health and happiness to you x

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Thank you for taking the time to comment x

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