This week has been good. It started with a visit from the bereavement midwife. I was ridiculously nervous about meeting her but I needn't have been. She was really lovely, and told me about the support I could receive from the hospital, we talked about my experience, and she answered a few questions I had. It's not until you go through something like this that you realise how common it is, that you're not alone, and that there is a lot of help available should you want it.

We talked of how quality time spent with your partner is essential, so I went to work with Andy again one morning. We did a lot of driving around and it was the perfect time to just chat and be together. Once we'd done all of his chores I persuaded him to take me to my favourite florist to buy wreath making supplies. Now we just need to pick some holly, which we'll do together.

Early in the week I spent a day with my Mum. We'd planned a morning at Crafty Coffee in Felixstowe, eating scones and painting pottery. I had my heart set on painting a large bauble in lots of bright colours for our tree. But our plans were thwarted when we arrived and found that it was closed.

Not to be discouraged, we wandered the shops instead. We both did some Christmas shopping (thankfully Felixstowe is blissfully free of crowds), and we ended up in a lovely cafe - £3.00 for a pot of tea and an Earl Grey tea, how good is that? And you can park all day for £2.00. It has some pretty good charity shops too, it's fast becoming one of my favourite places. Oh, and of course there is the beach and the sea to enjoy. And fish 'n' chips, ice cream and candyfloss.


We decided to return to Crafty Coffee a few days later. It's a lovely way to bookend the week, I painted a bauble and a Santa Claus and I'm so looking forward to seeing how they turn out.

The rest of the week was spent doing a little work, making plans for my hanging baskets and container pots (I know I'm a bit late in doing this but I haven't felt up to it until now). I've been taking apart in two Instagram prompts #adventtoshare, organised by Rosalyn Oxer, and #fmspad, organised by Fat Mum Slim. Both have made me feel rather festive and have given me a small, positive daily focus. And I've been strutting around the house in my new-to-me boots, I do love a good ebay win!

As for how I'm feeling, my surgery was a month ago and physically I feel good, a little tired at times but other than that I've made a good recovery. Emotionally though I know there is a lot to come. I'm usually a crier, so many things start me off - simple things, silly things, and every thing in between. But I've hardly cried at all, I still feel like it happened to someone else. I have moments of sadness, I think about it several times a day, and I can talk about what happened but I can't put into words how I feel about it, because I still feel numb. I know it will take time, that grief will come in many forms, and won't ever go away completely, but I wish it would hurry up. It feels wrong to feel so normal.

On a happier note, we're getting our Christmas tree this weekend, and we're going to my Mum's for a roast lamb lunch - my Mum's husband used to be a chef and his meals are always divine and plentiful. And I'm hoping to catch up with my two best friends soon too. There's plenty to look forward to.

What exciting plans do you have for the coming week?