This week has been good. It started with a visit from the bereavement midwife. I was ridiculously nervous about meeting her but I needn't have been. She was really lovely, and told me about the support I could receive from the hospital, we talked about my experience, and she answered a few questions I had. It's not until you go through something like this that you realise how common it is, that you're not alone, and that there is a lot of help available should you want it.

We talked of how quality time spent with your partner is essential, so I went to work with Andy again one morning. We did a lot of driving around and it was the perfect time to just chat and be together. Once we'd done all of his chores I persuaded him to take me to my favourite florist to buy wreath making supplies. Now we just need to pick some holly, which we'll do together.

Early in the week I spent a day with my Mum. We'd planned a morning at Crafty Coffee in Felixstowe, eating scones and painting pottery. I had my heart set on painting a large bauble in lots of bright colours for our tree. But our plans were thwarted when we arrived and found that it was closed.

Not to be discouraged, we wandered the shops instead. We both did some Christmas shopping (thankfully Felixstowe is blissfully free of crowds), and we ended up in a lovely cafe - £3.00 for a pot of tea and an Earl Grey tea, how good is that? And you can park all day for £2.00. It has some pretty good charity shops too, it's fast becoming one of my favourite places. Oh, and of course there is the beach and the sea to enjoy. And fish 'n' chips, ice cream and candyfloss.


We decided to return to Crafty Coffee a few days later. It's a lovely way to bookend the week, I painted a bauble and a Santa Claus and I'm so looking forward to seeing how they turn out.

The rest of the week was spent doing a little work, making plans for my hanging baskets and container pots (I know I'm a bit late in doing this but I haven't felt up to it until now). I've been taking apart in two Instagram prompts #adventtoshare, organised by Rosalyn Oxer, and #fmspad, organised by Fat Mum Slim. Both have made me feel rather festive and have given me a small, positive daily focus. And I've been strutting around the house in my new-to-me boots, I do love a good ebay win!

As for how I'm feeling, my surgery was a month ago and physically I feel good, a little tired at times but other than that I've made a good recovery. Emotionally though I know there is a lot to come. I'm usually a crier, so many things start me off - simple things, silly things, and every thing in between. But I've hardly cried at all, I still feel like it happened to someone else. I have moments of sadness, I think about it several times a day, and I can talk about what happened but I can't put into words how I feel about it, because I still feel numb. I know it will take time, that grief will come in many forms, and won't ever go away completely, but I wish it would hurry up. It feels wrong to feel so normal.

On a happier note, we're getting our Christmas tree this weekend, and we're going to my Mum's for a roast lamb lunch - my Mum's husband used to be a chef and his meals are always divine and plentiful. And I'm hoping to catch up with my two best friends soon too. There's plenty to look forward to.

What exciting plans do you have for the coming week?

Spring seemed to go on for ages, and yet the year seems to be flying by. Here's how I got on with my spring to-do list

See the bluebells
I love doing this and look forward to it every year. Andy and I went twice, as we always seem to go a little too early the first time, and have to return to see the best floral display, but it's time spent with my husband, so it's time well spent.

I was delighted to discover bluebells growing in our garden a few weeks later.

Plant up container pots and hanging baskets
I planted up my hanging baskets in autumn with winter flowering pansies and violas. They lasted until early June, even though they were largely ignored. They're now filled with Bacopa, a million bells, Lysimachia, and variegated Nepeta, despite being planted later than usual they're looking lovely. They make such a difference to how the house looks, they add personality and colour. They make the house look quite cheerful!


Hit the beach
My first visit was to Felixstowe with my nephews in April and involved arcade games, where I won some odd looking characters that I have no clue what to do with now I have them, and fish 'n' chips. I managed to talk my youngest nephew into joining me for a paddle - it was freezing cold!!

I returned in May with my Mum to celebrate her birthday. We spent some time painting pots, rummaging in charity shops, eating al fresco at Prezzo, playing on the arcades, and strolling along the seafront eating ice cream.

Do It Myself
I've been doing little bits and pieces around the house but my focus has largely been in the garden. It's hardly DIY but it does come under the umbrella of home improvement so it's good enough for me. My plan is to turn my attention inside and decorate when Andy disappears into harvest.

Make a plan to grow soft fruit
I have a raspberry plant that seems to be doing really well so far. As for strawberries I failed to buy any plants. I have an ancient plant in a pot by the front door but I doubt it'll be fruitful. I haven't given up on my plans for a fruit cage though, that's something I'm still plotting.


Mend
So far I've patched two pairs of jeans (one of which now has a busted zip!), and mended a torn hem on a maxi skirt, and a split side seem. It's not huge progress but it's a start. That said since doing these I've added a few more things to the mend pile. It's never ending.


Once a month veggie meals
In April I made Chickpea Tikka Masala - Andy Loved it, I only liked it, every mouthful was a bit samey.

In May I whipped up this Creamy Hummus Pasta dish that we both really enjoyed. I've made this several times now, it's a really easy weeknight recipe. I want to have a go at making hummus, I know I have a recipe kicking about somewhere.

In June I made a Three Bean Chili which we both really liked. Andy topped his with extra jalapenos, I added cheese and chopped red onion. Yum.

I also made this cucumber pickle recipe I found thanks to Vix. I made a half batch just in case we didn't like it. I think I needed to slice everything a little thinner (a Mandoline might be a good addition to our kitchen). Or perhaps cut the cucmber and onion into chunks so it has more of a Branston feel to it. I wasn't sure if I liked it at first but it's definitely grown on me. It's especially good with cheese and crackers, and lovely with a quiche.

I had planned on cooking a veggie lasagna but the recipe was American and some of the ingredients were hard to find, and I simply can't be bothered to work that hard for an everyday recipe.


Read 12 Books
I read 14 and of these Sylvia's Farm was my favourite, I still think about it now. I'm going to write a review at some point in the near future, I'm normally terrible at book reviews but I like this book so much I'm going to give it a go.


Attend the Suffolk Show
I've lived in Suffolk since I was tiny but I'd never been to the Suffolk Show before. So to remedy this I went along with my Dad, we had such a lovely day. We indulged in some shopping, spent ages watching horse demonstrations, and blacksmiths in action, ate Cornish pasties, strawberries, and date and walnut cake. We meandered around the many stalls and exhibitions, including an art exhibition. At the entrance to this was a large sculpture of a dog with a big stick in it's mouth, which was surrounded by three real dogs, barking at it but all too chicken to try and nick his stick. It was so cute, and noisy.

Also during spring, Andy and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary, I hit the charity shops with Sophie and Kezzie, I started my bee friendly garden quest, made elderflower gin, a malteaser cheesecake, lemon curd thumb print cookies, granola, and I started a new wardrobe challenge.

Although I make these lists each season and I never manage to tick everything off, there are always many other things that crop up to keep me busy and out of mischief. Making plans is all very well but there is always something to be said for last minute plans, acting on ideas as and when they strike, and going with the flow.

I love Instagram, not only for the pretty pictures, and the Instagram Stories, that I've somehow become utterly addicted to, but also for the things I stumble across.

In this instance I'm referring to discovering a beach clean up not too far from me, hosted by a local company, Adnams.

I popped it in the diary and promptly forgot all about it until the morning of the clean up. It was a nice-ish day so I decided to hop in the car and go.

Sadly I was held up along the way by two separate packs of cyclists riding two, sometimes three, abreast, on narrow country roads with little opportunity to over take. I hate these people with a passion, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today.


Anyway, I was late and had missed the meet up time, and was pissed off about it, but with the sight of the waves, and the smell of the sea air, I spotted a stone that seemed to be grinning at me and I decided not to let it spoil my day. I would spend the day there regardless. I ambled along the beach, picking up litter as I went along, figuring that you don't have to attend a beach clean up to pick up litter.


Half way between the pier, where I'd started out, and the sea wall, I saw the clean up party, they were just about to start. So I nipped over and asked if I could join in. Of course they said yes, all hands on deck and all that. So after a group photo, we set off. Bin bag in hand, with clip board to record everything we picked up in the first 100m of beach. Of course I found very little in that first 100m, only really finding anything much the moment I handed in my clip board, but what the heck, it wasn't a competition.


I should probably mention that the beach was Southwold. I wouldn't have said that it was a litter strewn beach, I've always considered it to be very clean, but when you really start looking you see lots of little bits and pieces. Mostly plastic.

I found string, small bits of rope, the remnants of balloons, a toy truck, a sock, the back end of a rat (I didn't pick that up but left it for the tide), used shot gun cartridges, wet wipes, and the plastic sticks from cotton buds. All little bits that are easy to miss but will not decompose.


It was really enjoyable, and felt very satisfying. I walked along the shore line, also looking at pretty stones, enjoying the feeling of sand beneath my shoes. I found my first piece of sea glass, albeit very small. For the first time ever I saw dead fish on the beach, tiny little things - they looked a lot like whitebait to me. I've never seen fish on the beach before, and another lady commented on it too. I took a rather morbid series of photos, but I'll spare you those.


The weather was perfect, it was cloudy so the temperature was warm but not too hot, and there was a warm breeze. I did get sunburn on the back of my neck, despite having suncream in my bag. It just didn't seem like a burning kind of day.


Between us (25 people in total) we collected 21 bags of rubbish, and on our short walk to the Adnams pub once we'd finished, I couldn't stop looking for litter and wanting to pick it up. We were rewarded with a free pint (just a half for me as I was driving), I sat talking to a lovely family who have been getting involved for a while. The next one is in September to clean up after the busy summer season, and I'm told participants are rewarded with free fish n chips for that one.

Being on a beach, feeling great satisfaction by picking up litter, and then eating good local grub? I'm in. It's already in the diary, in pen.


I wandered back down the beach cooling my feet in the surf. I hadn't eaten since breakfast so stopped off at a cafe for an emergency ham and cheese toastie, and mug of sweet tea. It was most welcome, and not bad for £4.00.


I wandered down the high street, popping in and out of the charity shops (1 book, 1 skirt purchased), before heading back to the beach. On my way I passed a bakery and queued for a while for a sour cherry gelato. It was worth the wait.

A short walk and I was on the beach again. After a stroll and bit of a sit, I reluctantly decided it was time to head home.


I spotted this building near the car park and something alerted me to the fact that it might just serve tea, so, feeling a little parched, I went to investigate. With an Earl Grey I read the first few pages of my recently purchased book, We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler, and decided it was going to be a good read.


And then it really was time to make my way home. It had been a lovely day - spontaneous and something a bit out of the ordinary.

For my birthday Andy booked us a night away in Aldeburgh, of course we couldn't actually go on, or even near, my birthday due to harvest, so we went last week instead.

He booked us into The Brudenell, in a room with sea views. When we arrived it was too dark to see the sea but we could see the white splashes of waves breaking on the shore in the darkness, and hear the delightful sound of the waves rolling in, dragging the shingle back as it withdrew.


The hotel, and our room, were both lovely. We did chuckle on arrival when I spotted a letter, addressed to Andy, saying 'Thank you for choosing to stay with us again'. 'Again?' I asked raising an eyebrow. Andy looked confused, until I realised that The Brudenell is part of the same group of hotels as The Swan at Lavenham, where we got married, and thus avoided a marital dispute.

We had a little while to relax before going to dinner so I made us a hot drink and we sat with the lights off (minimising the reflections in the windows, maxmising the sea view), and listened to the waves. It was windy and raining, and knowing how cold it was outside made the room feel very cosy and warm.


We dined in the Seafood Grill restaurant, which reminded us both of a restaurant we visited whilst in Paris on our honeymoon. Dinner was delicious, the menu had a variety of fresh seafood on offer. I was a little limited in what I could have as my lactose allergy prevented me from having a number of things, in the end I went for scallops to start, followed by beer battered cod and chips, I had to forgo the tartare sauce and had peas instead of mushy peas. Thankfully the waiter was very helpful and happy to help with my questions on ingredients. I didn't have a desert as the only thing I could have was the sorbet and I'm getting pretty bored of that now.


After a comfortable night's sleep, an early start to watch the sun rise over the sea, and a lovely cooked breakfast (I can highly recommend Stokes tomato ketchup to add pep to your fry-up), we wrapped up and headed out to the beach. We both anticipated a cold day but it was actually pleasantly warm. It was a welcome surprise after a few days of wind and rain.


Aldeburgh beach is a long expanse of shingle, and in early november it's delightfully free of crowds. We saw only a handful of people as we trudged from our hotel to the Maggi Hambling sculpture. We played chicken with the waves and collected a few keepsake stones.


Sadly I had to be back at my desk early afternoon so we didn't stick around for a fish 'n' chip lunch, Aldeburgh are famous for their fish 'n' chip shops, but we did have f'n'c for supper so felt we'd indulged enough. There is something so nice about eating chip shop fish and chips on the beach though right? Maybe next time...

Even though it was a flying visit, it was lovely to get away and spend some time together. We're definitely going to return, maybe by then I'll have my allergies sorted and I can go ahead and order the classic fish pie with creamed potato, garlic greens and herb crumb, followed by the traditional British cheese board with grapes, biscuits!