Dear William Bird, Welcome to your new home. I think you'll look fab sat on the wall on my side of the bed.

Dear Work, Still nothing changes. Please try harder.



Dear Zara, PLEASE do not sell out of these boots before payday. Thank you in advance.

Dear Louis Walsh, You are a puppet. Stop it.

Dear X Factor Judges, We know you hate having to make a choice and send someone home, it's 'such a difficult desicion', but we all know that you made up your mind the moment the final two were revealed. Get on with it, you're going to give Dermot an ulcer (we love Dermot).

Dear Alan Carr, Thank you for your comment on Twitter last week after Rylan's 'performance' - "He looked like a bearded Ferrero Rocher". I can't remember the last time I chuckled so much and for so long.

Dear brand new baby niece, You're a cutie, thank you for not crying or vomiting the first time I held you. We're going to get along just fine.


I hope you all have a happy weekend!