Each month I'm posting my clothing and accessory purchases in A Buyer's Archive, inspired by Elise, to keep track of what I'm buying and spending, and to compare with that of last year.

THIS YEAR

When I looked at the items in my capsule wardrobe in mid November, I felt truly uninspired. Once I'd removed all the maternity clothes from the capsule I was left with my usual colour palette of predominantly navy, grey, and beige and it left me feeling flat. I wanted colour, and lots of it! So I indulged in some online shopping and I bought all the colours of the rainbow. It cheered me up to wear some colour, and I needed my spirits lifted. Clothes can be more than just garments to keep us covered and warm.


I was over the moon with my first purchase of the month - burgundy knee high boots, £24.99, pre-loved from ebay, originally from Topshop. I just adore them.

An ASOS order saw a pink jumper (£20.80 in the sale), and a colourful stripy jumper (£25.00) added to my wardrobe.

A small trip around the charity shops in Felixstowe mid month had me heading home with a not very colourful, but gorgeously soft grey and white scarf for £3.75.

A quick charity shop rummage in Ipswich offered up a gorgeous green Zara jumper (£3.99), and a grey pleated M&S midi skirt (£3.25).

I picked up a tapestry skirt for £9.00, and a statement necklace for £7.00, in a few Instagram sales. And whilst doing a few last bits of last minute Christmas shopping I came home with a pair of burgundy tights (£3.00), to wear with my new boots, and another scarf (£18.00) for myself.

But it doesn't end there!

An ebay search offered up a black mini skirt, won for £4.20, that matched the one I had in my mind's eye when I wrote my shopping list at the beginning of the year. I also bought a light blue pre loved Topshop midi skirt that took my fancy, I had some Nectar vouchers to use so this ended costing me just £3.00. I'm still waiting for this to arrive...

That's a lot of clothes shopping for one month, certainly more than I anticipated. But when you crave colour and have none what are you to do?


LAST YEAR

I made just two purchases in December '16. Two shirts, one ex-stock and one pre-loved, and both have been worn a number of times, and will continue to be worn.


The short sleeved shirt was £12.80 from ebay and the other was from Rachel the Hat in one of her Instagram sales for £9.00. Both excellent purchases I think.


Total for December: £125.98

Overall total for 2017: £663.03

Total at this time last year:  £742.39

Obviously my spending this month takes me over my budget of £600, but I am still under my total of last year, so I'm taking it as a win anyway.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! I hope 2018 brings love, fun, and positivity (and lots of gorgeous charity shop finds).
xx

I wanted lots of colour to see me through the cold months of the year, however this didn't stop me from adding two navy jumpers, and a couple of beige items to this capsule. A girl's gotta have some staples, right?

This time around I've got fewer items than I normally have. Having looked back over all my other capsules I realised I always had a number of items that either didn't get worn or were only worn a few times. My very first capsule had 37 times, I'm now down to 30 and I'm confident that this is plenty.

This year I'm going to keep a tally of how often I wear everything in my capsule. I've become interested in this since finding out about the #30Wears campaign. The idea is we can save a lot from landfill, and reduce the demand for new items of clothing if we just wear our clothes for a little longer.

I have no idea how often I wear things, do I ever wear items more than 30 times? And if so, which items? How long does it take to wear something 30 times? I think it'll be interesting to find out.

Hello! Did you have a good Christmas? It's that odd time between Christmas and New Year. I don't know what day it is. I'm not even sure of the date. But I do know I've had a lovely few days. Today I'm relaxing, pottering and pondering.

I created my Instagram Best Nine today and though I'd share the story behind each photo.

The cross stitch I created for our second (cotton) anniversary was obviously popular.

I shared it in April, just after our anniversary and again recently for Fat Mum Slim's Photo A Day prompt of 'Family', and both made it into my Best Nine! I loved creating this, and obviously the cats had to be included.


My snowman was for another Photo A Day prompt this time is was Rosalyn's #AdventToShare. As luck would have it it snowed that day, it didn't last, but was thick enough for me to create this little chap.


I made a snowman kit by treading wire through buttons for the eyes and, erm, buttons, so I could poke them into the snow. It worked a treat.


Day 3 of #AdventToShare was to watch a Christmas film, who was I to argue? I love The Holiday and watch it a few times each year anyway...


The centre picture made me laugh. I was sitting on my sofa reading and felt myself being watched. I looked up to see these two staring at me, obviously it was time to be fed! Tink looks like she was contemplating something evil if I didn't comply.


This next photo was taken back in May, Socks had had two teeth out that week and followed me around for a few days. I love that little face and kiss his head way more than he likes. I hated having to leave him at the vets, they hate being in the carrier and being in the car. He cried all the way, and I almost cried when I walked back to the car. The house feels wrong when one or both of them aren't here.


I'm glad to see my wedding dress making an appearance. I put it on to greet Andy when he came home on our anniversary. I haven't put it on in a while... today might be the day :)


The skirt pic was taken during a photo an hour day in July, I'd nipped into Next and discovered a skirt I'd tried on at full price in the sale, from £65 to £25 I had to have it. So far I've only worn it once - dinner with friends - but it will be worn again. It has pockets!


And finally, this was day 2 of #AdventToShare - my wreath from last year. I didn't make one this year, we didn't manage to find the time to get out and gather holly, but I have all the other gubbins I need to make one next year.

And just for fun, here's my 2016 Best Nine, lovely to see my wedding dress in the mix again.

Oh my goodness, what a week!

I always leave things to the last minute and end up rushing around like a crazy person with to-do lists coming out of my ears. I enjoy the chaos but have found it somewhat tiring this year. Still, it nearly all done.
This week has been quite sociable. It started with lunch at the Lavenham Swan with Andy, a belated anniversary meal, back the the scene of the crime. It was absolutely lovely. The smell of the place as we walk in the door takes us right back to our wedding day. I feel like this is our hotel, it's such a special place.

I had a G&T before eating, forgetting that I hadn't had time for breakfast. I was rather giggly by the time my food arrived - which didn't help productivity that afternoon. But it was a welcome distraction and so lovely to spend time with Andy, and the food was delicious, as always. Although, being a traditional sort of fellow, Andy really didn't know what to make of the beetroot ice cream that was served with his chocolate mousse :)


I nipped to Felixstowe with Mum to collect the pottery I'd painted from Crafty Coffee. Again I hadn't had time for breakfast and was hoping for a cheese scone (they are so good) but they didn't have any, so we walked to the other end of the high street to our favourite wool shop / cafe, The Wool Baa, and had one there. It's worth a visit if you're ever in Felixstowe, The Wool Baa is lovely, especially if you're a fan of wool. If you're there on Monday evening or Thursday morning they have 'Knit and Natter' so you can take your knitting and get sociable.

I enjoyed lunch with some of my best friends at The Cookhouse Restaurant at The Suffolk Food Hall. I ate too much (fish and chips and a chocolate and salted caramel sundae), and was then served fish and chips by my Dad for supper. I was so full I had trouble driving home!

I had a haircut - just a trim, coffee with my sister in law, wrapped some presents, gave up on the idea of writing Christmas cards, braved some last minute shopping (but I've realised I need to do a little more), put marizpan on the cake (and some in my stomach), started to clean the house ready for guests on Christmas Eve, attacked the laundry so I don't have to do any next week, and I managed some work in between all of this.

Yesterday Andy came home with a second Christmas tree so that needs decorating, I need to ice the cake, make a Malteser Cheesecake, finish a website design, finish the housework, find the big table cloth, stop Andy from eating all the snacks purchased for our guests, and remember where I put the gin.

And tomorrow we're celebrating our youngest nephew's birthday with go karting and pizza.

I do enjoy Christmas, but I'm looking forward to Boxing Day when I can put my feet up. In the days that follow we'll do as we please, we'll make it up as we go along, which sounds pretty perfect to me.

I hope you all have a lovely, lovely Christmas, however you choose to celebrate.

xx

I can not believe it's nearly Christmas, I really don't know where the time has gone. Some of the things on this list seem like I did them eons ago, and yet I ran out of time to do them all. Still, it's been a lovely season in many ways. Winter maybe upon us but that means spring isn't far away and soon we'll have a whole brand new year in which to marvel at how quickly it is passing.

Here's how I got on with my autumn things-to-do list

Make fat balls for the birds and keep them coming throughout autumn and winter
Making these was messy and rather satisfying. I found a super simple recipe (some seemed necessarily complicated) and got stuck in. I made enough to fill my feeders twice over and have enough ingredients to continue making them well into the new year.

Watch a scary movie on Halloween
I didn't watch a movie but I did start to watch series 6 of The Walking Dead. I don't find this scary as such, however I can't watch it when it's dark outside.

Watch under 16s football from the sidelines (so much better than watching the overpaid 'professionals')
One of my nephews plays, and my brother is team manager. I enjoy watching a game or two and can be found shouting things like 'Go on Wanderers!' or 'Ref, are you blind?!!!!' whenever I grace the sidelines. This is rather uncharacteristic as I detest professional football.

Knit!
I got my sticks out and decided to make some toys, I knitted a lion (Leo) and a monkey (Moo). The monkey has been made several times before. He's really easy to knit, and so is perfect for my limited skills.

Spend Black Friday making handmade gifts
Rolling two goals into one, I was knitting on Black Friday. Leo and Moo are going to a good home in March when a friend's brother's baby boy arrives.

Make your own chai latte
I've long wanted to make my own, but all the different ingredients meant I was always missing one ingredient or another. I found a really simple cheat recipe and ordered myself some teapigs chai tea temples and a milk whisk and I was all set. Accompanied by a mince pie, it was pretty perfect. If you make it, please just remember to put the whisk in the milk and then turn it on. I didn't do that and splatter myself with milk, oh no (I did).

Paint pottery
I daubed a large bauble and a cute Father Christmas face at Crafty Coffee in Felixstowe - a lovely little place if you're ever in the area. And if you don't fancy painting anything, and they're not busy, they don't mind you just having a coffee and munching on a (delicious) cheese scone.

Go on a charity shop search for warm woollens
I did go on a good romp around the charity shops but found only one jumper, a lovely emerald green fine knit, originally from Zara. I'd say it's more of a summer knit but I'm not afraid of a bit of layering. I also found a lovely scarf - super soft and super huge!

Eat a Cadbury's Ghoost Egg, or a box of Mr Kipling's Fiendish Fancies, or both
Both, and some Mr Kipling Toffee Terror Whirls that had been reduced the day after Halloween :)

Get cosy and read
Over Autumn I read much less than I intended. I only read three books and given that I've read 45 books this year, it doesn't seem like much. My favourite of these books was A Boy Made of Blocks by Keith Stuart. I read a review over on t*rexes and tiaras in October last year, it came highly recommended so I put it on my to-read list. As luck would have it I found it in a charity shop in the summer and it didn't disappoint!

And the goals that life got in the way of  - prepare a crumble using foraged fruits and serve with piping hot custard, enjoy a homemade soup for lunch with fresh crusty granary rolls, needle felt some acorns, light a bonfire and roast marshmallows, plant spring flowering bulbs, turn off the TV and do a jigsaw puzzle (we got waaaaay to into watching box sets for this).

Maybe I'll get to do all of these things next year instead?

And so on to winter, what are your favourite winter pursuits?

1. Read 12 books
I did a lot of reading in 2017, but I also purchased a lot of books, mostly from charity shops, and yet I still managed to spend £104.03 on books over the course of the year. So once again I want to read as much as possible, not just over winter, but throughout the year. I'm on a book buying ban (except for books needed for my reading challenge) until everything on my shelves has been read. I have 46 books on my shelves, so I know it's achievable.

I find winter the best time to get cosy and get lost in a book. You can light the fire, make a huge cup of tea, grab a blanket, and a cat, and happily stay that way for a few hours. Bliss.

2. Plan my greenhouse growings
I want to grow a few veg more veg this year, and want to improve on my soft fruit - this year's efforts were pitiful, although lettuce leaves were in plentiful supply! I just need a plan...

3. Try a new restaurant
Because there are so many new restaurants locally, some that have been around a while that I just haven't visited yet. I might even see if I can tempt some friends along...

4. Mend
I still have a number of items that need altering or mending - an afternoon spent working my way through this pile would be an afternoon well spent, and give me a few more options for my capsule wardrobe.

5. Donate to a food bank
I always say I'm going to but so often forget. I think doing it after Christmas might be a good idea. I have a feeling donations go down after the festive period.

6. Veggie meals
Try 3 veggie recipes. I started well with this in early 2017 but it did fall a bit by the wayside by the end of the year. I did however find one recipe that's become a regular in my meal plan - Hummus Paste, it's delicious and so easy to make. A few more recipes like this one would be most welcome.

7. Put all posters / pictures / paintings I have into frames and get them on the walls!
This is on my Day Zero list. Winter seems like a good time to do such a thing.

8. Get into the woods
We have some woodland here on the farm and last year we cleared some fallen trees and had a bonfire, we took a picnic and it was a lovely way to spend an afternoon. Whether we do this or simply take a walk through the trees I don't mind, it's just good to get out into nature.

9. Go to the beach
There is something uplifting about being beside the sea, no matter what time of year it is. The breeze may be bracing but it's delightfully crowd free and what better time to scoff some hot salty chips with a mug of sweet tea?

10. Turn off the TV and do a jigsaw puzzle / play a board game
As much as I like mentally switching off and losing myself in a good programme or boxset, I think it's important to step away from the telly box once in a while to interact with those around you.

What do you do with your time over winter?

I've set myself a little reading challenge for 2018 as part of my Day Zero Project. I want to read a book each month with the name of that month in the title, and I'm in need of your recommendations.

I have four books sorted already.

The Two Faces of January by Patricia Highsmith is on it's way to me via Father Christmas (aka my Dad, he has a white beard, so ...)

I found March by Geraldine Brooks in a charity shop earlier this year. This has a good review from Karen Joy Fowler, author of one of my favourite books The Jane Austen Book Club, so I have high hopes for this.

For August I have The Courtyard in August by Janette Griffiths. This has no reviews on Amazon and three stars on Goodreads, but again no reviews, so I'm not sure what to expect from this one. It sounds interesting.

Lastly, I saw on Instagram that Sophie had a book called December in her TBR pile and asked if I could borrow it. What did you think of it Sophie?

Do you have any month-in-the-title book recommendations (even if I they cover the months I already have)?

I'm looking forward to hunting for books in charity shops, I'd love to get as many as I can second hand.

Thank you!

Last year I compiled a shopping list of things that I felt were missing from my wardrobe, I posted the list in early February. Having remembered I'd done so, I was interested to see how many things I'd ticked off.

In no particular order the items were;

Slouchy jeans
I found a pair in a charity shop in August, they're pre loved Oasis jeans and I picked them up for a bargain £2.00. They're not exactly what I had in mind but they are lovely, very comfy, and I wear them a lot.

Black knee boots
I put this to the back of my mind until recently, I've ordered a few pairs, only to return them. I've got an ill-fitting pair I won't be keeping from ebay, but I have another pair on my ebay watch list that I'm hopeful about. And I feel I should mention the burgundy boots I found, just because they're so pretty!

Ankle boots
I saw many I liked but in the end I didn't feel the need to purchase any, the boots I have sufficed.

Bright jumper
I wanted pink, and this one (pictured above) was perfect. It's a recent purchase but one I think will be worn a lot.

White shirt
I wanted a semi fitted shirt in a soft fabric with a rounded hem. I kept my eyes open in charity shops but I didn't find one.

Basic white t-shirt
A white version of the black t-shirt I purchased last summer would've been perfect. I should've bought it when I posted the list because they still sold them then, but not anymore. What I like about it is that it has a rounded hem, which is not something that I've seen any where else.

Black jacket / Statement jacket / Grey jacket
No to all.

Floaty floral skirt
I didn't buy a floral skirt but I did buy a green skirt that I adore!

Black mini skirt
My original post said - Not tiny mini, mid thigh mini to wear in the cooler months, probably a tweedy or textured fabric - and it just so happens I currently have one on my ebay watch list.

Floaty maxi or midi dress
I did buy a maxi dress but I didn't wear it in the end. I bought it in February and by the time the nice weather came around I'd gone off it. It hangs in my wardrobe waiting to be put on ebay.

Smart trousers 
I've seen a pair I like...

Of course I bought a lot more besides but I think I did OK ticking things off the list, I still keep an eye open for the remaining items when I'm out on a charity shop rummage. One day these things will appear, they always do eventually.

This week has been good. It started with a visit from the bereavement midwife. I was ridiculously nervous about meeting her but I needn't have been. She was really lovely, and told me about the support I could receive from the hospital, we talked about my experience, and she answered a few questions I had. It's not until you go through something like this that you realise how common it is, that you're not alone, and that there is a lot of help available should you want it.

We talked of how quality time spent with your partner is essential, so I went to work with Andy again one morning. We did a lot of driving around and it was the perfect time to just chat and be together. Once we'd done all of his chores I persuaded him to take me to my favourite florist to buy wreath making supplies. Now we just need to pick some holly, which we'll do together.

Early in the week I spent a day with my Mum. We'd planned a morning at Crafty Coffee in Felixstowe, eating scones and painting pottery. I had my heart set on painting a large bauble in lots of bright colours for our tree. But our plans were thwarted when we arrived and found that it was closed.

Not to be discouraged, we wandered the shops instead. We both did some Christmas shopping (thankfully Felixstowe is blissfully free of crowds), and we ended up in a lovely cafe - £3.00 for a pot of tea and an Earl Grey tea, how good is that? And you can park all day for £2.00. It has some pretty good charity shops too, it's fast becoming one of my favourite places. Oh, and of course there is the beach and the sea to enjoy. And fish 'n' chips, ice cream and candyfloss.


We decided to return to Crafty Coffee a few days later. It's a lovely way to bookend the week, I painted a bauble and a Santa Claus and I'm so looking forward to seeing how they turn out.

The rest of the week was spent doing a little work, making plans for my hanging baskets and container pots (I know I'm a bit late in doing this but I haven't felt up to it until now). I've been taking apart in two Instagram prompts #adventtoshare, organised by Rosalyn Oxer, and #fmspad, organised by Fat Mum Slim. Both have made me feel rather festive and have given me a small, positive daily focus. And I've been strutting around the house in my new-to-me boots, I do love a good ebay win!

As for how I'm feeling, my surgery was a month ago and physically I feel good, a little tired at times but other than that I've made a good recovery. Emotionally though I know there is a lot to come. I'm usually a crier, so many things start me off - simple things, silly things, and every thing in between. But I've hardly cried at all, I still feel like it happened to someone else. I have moments of sadness, I think about it several times a day, and I can talk about what happened but I can't put into words how I feel about it, because I still feel numb. I know it will take time, that grief will come in many forms, and won't ever go away completely, but I wish it would hurry up. It feels wrong to feel so normal.

On a happier note, we're getting our Christmas tree this weekend, and we're going to my Mum's for a roast lamb lunch - my Mum's husband used to be a chef and his meals are always divine and plentiful. And I'm hoping to catch up with my two best friends soon too. There's plenty to look forward to.

What exciting plans do you have for the coming week?

Being the only bidder on an ebay item you've been watching for days feels pretty good.

I won these burgundy knee high boots for £24.99, and then kept everything crossed that they would fit and be comfortable. And they do, and they are!

They're in really good condition with minimal wear, originally from Topshop. They arrived this morning, and, in true Hazel fashion, I spared no time in getting them on my body. I bought them to wear with my green skirt, and I will, but today I'm wearing them with a midi dress I was given for my birthday, because I think they look fab with this too.


The heel is covered in suede which is a bit daft if you ask me - it's not very practical is it? - but isn't the shape of the heel lovely? I know these are going to be worn a lot.

Have you had any good ebay wins recently?

It's been a quiet week, I've been slowly returning to work, doing a few hours a day. I've spent some time at work with Andy (nothing strenuous, just keeping him company whilst he drives around checking on things). We've worked our way though a huge portion of the Game of Thrones boxset, and I've finally started preparing for the festive season.

One of the pieces of advice I've received over the past few weeks has been to remind myself of the things I'm grateful for. It's something I should do all year round, but now seems like a good time to start.

I'm grateful for being treated to a mini manicure. A bit of pampering can never be a bad thing. Me time, self care - whatever you want to call it - it's so important to take the time to do something for yourself, particularly when you need some cheering up. Neat shiny nails make me smile.

I'm grateful for online shopping so I don't have to face the hoards of shoppers in town. I love Not On The High Street for independent retailers, and I will pop out to my favourite independent stores soon, but the bulk of my shopping has already been done, and it feels great.

I'm very grateful to have the luxury of time. After what's happened most people would be expected to return to work after two weeks. It seems too soon to me, grief doesn't have a time frame. As I've regained strength after surgery I've been able to spend a few hours a day at my desk without feeling pressured, it's been immensely helpful to feel some normality returning.

I'm grateful for my clients, who have been patient and very understanding (and two of them sent me huge amounts of chocolate).

I'm grateful for the messages and support I've received from my friends. It's hard to know what to say in situations such as these, but I'm so grateful people haven't shied away from getting in touch. Their messages have really helped, as have all the comments from you.

How has your week been? Tell me about your favourite part of your week.

xx

Each month I'm posting my clothing and accessory purchases in A Buyer's Archive, inspired by Elise, to keep track of what I'm buying and spending, and to compare with that of last year.

THIS YEAR

I made a few maternity purchases in early November. A denim dress, which I thought would look great with a long sleeved striped t-shirt underneath (£3.70), and a motif t-shirt (£4.00), both pre-loved from ebay. They've been folded up and stored away until I can decide what I want to do with them.

I also won some Clarks boots, very similar to those pictured, for £21.00, but they're a wide fit (I didn't read the description properly), so they're going back on ebay.

Then I bought some pants, three pairs for £14.00 from Next. Not exciting, but essential. I liked the colour combination of these, I don't wear white pants and generally every pack includes a white pair, which is annoying.

So not much in the way of purchases for what feels like a higher spend than usual.

LAST YEAR


I bought three items, a grey t-shirt from ASOS, £17.00. And one in pale neon orange, £7.00. And a neckerchief I found in a charity shop, £1.99.

I still have the t-shirts, the grey one needs mending but the orange one has been worn a number of times, both have been put away until the spring. The neckerchief didn't get worn much so went to a carboot sale in the summer, I think I sold it for a pound.


Total for November: £42.70

Total so far for 2017: £536.55

Total at this time last year:  £720.59

I'm still on target for my £600 budget, but I have been doing a bit of online browsing and there are a number of things that have caught my eye. Can I resist?

What have you been buying this month?

I'm feeling more like my normal self today. Less tired, more energetic, and although I have to be careful not to over do it, I've been feeling the need to do more than sit around, watching crappy daytime TV (although I refused to even contemplate watching Jeremy Kyle no-matter-what).

I've been taking the time to catch up on some blog reading (on the subject of reading, can you believe I haven't picked up a book in over three weeks!?).

One post I read was by Vix, talking about how a day without dressing up is a day wasted. I've never seen anyone look so glamorous whilst buying cat food, or attending an optician appointment. But she has a point, and I've always said that a great outfit can lift your spirits and do wonders for your confidence.

I've been living in PJs and anything I can find with a high comfort factor, which ironically includes my maternity jeans. It's understandable to crave comfort over style when feeling below par, but I woke up this morning and felt like making a bit more of an effort, brushing my hair and even popping on a little make up.

I wanted colour and comfort so my green skirt was the obvious choice. It's been mended since tripping on it whilst getting undressed and tearing the zip. It's not an invisible mend but it's on the back and I can't see it...

Granted this isn't so much getting dressed up as it is simply getting dressed, but I think it counts, and it's my blog, so... yeah.

To 'autumn it up' I layered long sleeves under a jumper and wore thick tights and boots, although I have to confess, these have now been swapped for a pair of tatty knitted slipper boots.

I have my eye on a particularly lovely pair of preloved burgundy boots on ebay, that I think will look fab with this skirt (and my gingham maxi dress), so keep your fingers crossed for me.

To cheer it up a bit I wore a red scarf, because a cheery red can not fail to brighten anyone's day.

Thank you for all your kind comments on my previous post. I'm feeling physically stronger, and now emotions are slowly starting to bubble up to the surface. I know Andy and I still have a way to go, but I know that together we'll be fine.

One positive of all of this is that we've have retained our ability to laugh, albeit oftentimes inappropriately. But then there have been numerous occasions when joking was the only option open to us, other than breaking down completely. I love that we've been able to share moments of silliness in this awful situation, however inappropriate they might have seemed.

On our wedding day, during my speech, I told Andy's parents that they'd raised an amazing man, and he's proved me right many times since then, but never more so than over the past few weeks.

He's been my constant companion, he didn't leave me when I was in hospital, sleeping on the floor for four nights. Nothing has been too much, he's been there to help, no matter what I've needed. Without him this situation would've been unbearable. I'm incredibly lucky.

This week I've been enjoying the little things. Snuggling up on the sofa with my husband and cats, spending time with friends, watching birds in the garden, and slowly working my way through the Game of Thrones boxset.

This week has been much better than last week, and significantly better than the week before.

The week before, at 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I was taken into hospital with severe abdominal pains.

At first I thought I was just constipated - a common 'gift' of pregnancy - I had a dull ache in my lower belly, but after a few hours the pain changed, it got worse, it became a cramping sensation that squeezed my entire abdomen. If I moved the pain intensified, my stomach cramped so violently I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was at this point Andy dialled 111.

They sent an ambulance. It took over two hours to arrive. The paramedics gave me gas and air, and once in the ambulance IV paracetamol, which eased the pain a little. In A&E, they took away the gas and air as it belonged on the ambulance and they couldn't leave without it.

I was left in a corridor for a while, then I was moved and left in a cubicle. It wasn't until a nurse walked by and saw me during a cramping episode that I got some attention. I had no idea how long I'd been there, but Andy tells me it was a few hours. I was given some pain relief that took the edge off the pain, but still it was pretty bad.

I had an IV line in each hand and had my heart rate and blood pressure monitored, but no one could offer any explanation. The medical staff were lovely, and very kind, but no one seemed to know what to do with me.

I willed myself to stay as still as I possibly could, but even then sometimes the cramping would take hold and I'd be doubled up in pain. Sometime in the early hours I was taken to the emergency gynae unit, and left in a corridor. The Doctor was in surgery and had other patients to see. The pain relief I was given in A&E wore off.

When I was seen by the Doctor, she stood watching me as the pain took hold once, twice, and then a third time. She kept asking me questions. I remember thinking 'why aren't you helping me?' I realise now that she was assessing me.

It was at this point, at nearly 5am, over 12 hours after dialling 111, that I was given some pain relief that finally eased the pain. I could relax enough to be examined and was told that my cervix was closed and as I'd had no bleeding, it was a good sign. I allowed myself to hope that our baby would be OK.

I was moved to a room on the gynae ward and told I would have an ultrasound scan at 8:20am that morning. There is no out-of-hours emergency sonographer at my local hospital, which is why they couldn't ascertain what was wrong, and why they could do little to help me.

At 9:45am I was taken for my ultrasound scan. The sonographer took her time to assess the situation, and then she told me that my pregnancy was ectopic, our baby had a heartbeat but was outside of the womb.

She didn't have to tell me what this meant.

Things happened very quickly from here. An ectopic pregnancy can be life threatening and within less half an hour I was being wheeled into surgery. We were told I'd be back on the ward within a few hours, but I didn't return to the ward until gone 6pm that evening.

I can not imagine what Andy must have gone through, sitting alone in that little room, waiting all that time for me to be wheeled back in.

I had laparoscopic surgery and, among other complications, they discovered that I had internal bleeding, which was the cause of the pain. They estimated that I'd been bleeding for a week, and where very surprised that I'd felt no pain before.

These things meant surgery took much longer than expected, I was given six units of blood and stayed in recovery for hours, although I remember little of this.

Despite unexpected complications, the surgery went well. I'd been very lucky.

I stayed in hospital for four nights, being discharged on the day I was meant to have my 12 week scan. As we'd approached our scan date we'd allowed ourselves to relax a little and get excited about telling our family and friends our good news.

I've been home a fortnight. I've been taking it easy, with Andy and my Mum looking after me.

Physically I feel OK, I get tired easily but I can feel myself getting stronger everyday. Small things feel like huge steps forward - being able to yawn without pain, being able to get in and out of the bath unaided, eating a proper sized meal - these things all seem like little victories.

But emotionally I still feel numb. It feels surreal, like it didn't happen, or it happened to someone else. I can feel the aftermath lurking, knowing will hit me one day soon. I've been told that it's common, that my body is focussed on healing physically, and that the emotions will come later.

For now I'm taking it easy, appreciating the little things, enjoying every little victory, comforted by the fact that I'm surrounded by love and support.

Time will heal, I know that, but I can't help but wish I was already on the other side of what's still to come.

Each month I'm posting my clothing and accessory purchases in A Buyer's Archive, inspired by Elise, to keep track of what I'm buying and spending, and to compare with that of last year.

Autumn has arrived, so my attention has been turned to jumpers and all things warm.

October is when Sophie and I get together for a tour of the charity shops, this time rummaging around in Bury St Edmunds. I purchased a gingham shirt. It was brand new, still with the tags on from Primark. I picked it up in Cancer Research for £4.00 and it's been worn four times already.

Blue jeans £12.00. I always look out for jeans when in charity shops, I rarely find any so when I do, I buy them (even if I bought a pair only a few months ago). When it comes to jeans I wear them until they fall apart, which is when I can't possibly patch them up any more, so I have no qualms about multiple denim purchases.


Christmassy jumper, £5.00 charity shop, originally from Next. I liked that this was vaguely a Christmas jumper (the patterns on the sleeves make it so in my mind), but most of all it has super long sleeves, which makes it so warm and cosy, but, as Sophie pointed out, not so good for doing the washing up. I think all jumpers should have sleeves this long, and did you notice the little pockets?

Then another pair of jeans found their way into my wardrobe, this time via ebay. They're Topshop Baxter jeans, £40.00 if purchased new, but I paid just £8.00. They fit like a dream and they obviously haven't been worn much by the previous owner as they're still black, not the grey/black that jeans turn when washed a lot. They're a good replacement for my black jeans that suddenly, and annoyingly, lost all their stretch.


LAST YEAR


In October last year I spent £163.00, which must've been the biggest monthly spend of the year. I bought a coat for £95.00 which would explain it. I'd been looking for a new winter coat for a few years, and being oddly fussy about coats, I hadn't found one. Although it was way over my budget, I decided to go ahead and buy it. I felt better about the purchase when I realised that my old winter coat had been kicking around for about 12 years.

The loafers have been neglected somewhat, so much so that I could sell them as 'VGC' on ebay. The California tee was worn a lot in the summer but twisted so much in the wash it was unwearable.

The black dress was worn a few times last autumn / winter but when I looked at it this year I just thought 'meh', so it went back to the charity shop. The polka dot dress has a seriously wonky hem and is in the mend pile. It's been there a while!

The cardigan was purchased on my shopping trip with Sophie last year. Originally from Monsoon, it's kept it shape and not bobbled at all. It's been a firm favourite in the winter months.

The pom pom necklace was worn a lot over the summer last year, but only occasionally this summer. And the earrings haven't been worn at all. I shouldn't bother buying earrings, I rarely remove the diamond studs that Andy gave me for my birthday, not long after we'd started dating. Do you have jewellery that never comes off?


Total for October: £29.00

Total so far for 2017: £456.88

Total at this time last year: £694.60

What have you been buying this month?

Make fat balls for the birds and keep them coming throughout autumn and winter

Prepare a crumble using foraged fruits and serve with piping hot custard

Enjoy a homemade soup for lunch with fresh crusty granary rolls

Watch a scary movie on Halloween

Watch under 16s football from the sidelines (so much better than watching the overpaid 'professionals')

Light a bonfire and roast marshmallows

Knit!

Make your own chai latte

Paint pottery

Plant spring flowering bulbs

Needle felt some acorns

Go on a charity shop search for warm woollens

Eat a Cadbury's Ghoost Egg, or a box of Mr Kipling's Fiendish Fancies, or both

Turn off the TV and do a jigsaw puzzle

Spend Black Friday making handmade gifts

Get cosy and read

Let me know what autumnal things you like to do!

I decided to build my capsule wardrobe in a slightly different way this season. Instead of sitting down and picking out all 36 items in one sitting, I allowed it to develop naturally. At the start of October I simply looked in my wardrobe each morning and picked out an outfit that I wanted to wear. By the end of the week I'd got the basics of the capsule sorted - jeans, green skirt (obviously), jumpers, denim jacket, long sleeved stripey t-shirt, lace motif t-shirt, and gingham dress.

I knew I'd need coats, so I added my grey coat, my wax jacket, and a long grey cardy that acts as a coat (not a coatigan, that's not a real word!!).

I met up with Sophie for our annual autumn charity shop rummage and found a gingham shirt, which of course was added to the capsule. When I buy something new, or new to me, I have an irresistible urge to wear it as soon as humanly possible. I also felt the need to add recent purchases of a vaguely Christmassy jumper and heart print shirt.

Since then I've added some colour in the form of a red dress, pink t-shirt, and burgundy heart print shirt. My newly dyed yellow maxi added a bit of an autumnal hue. It's become a wardrobe staple, it's been in very capsule since last summer.

The rest fell into place over the next week.

I have to admit I've been mostly been living in jeans, it happens every autumn when the sun goes in, my jeans come out and I feel like I've gone into hibernation. I've only worn my green skirt a few times since the summer ended. Last time I wore it, I tripped whilst taking it off (I have no idea how I managed that), and tore the fabric around the zip. I think I can mend it, I just need to buy some thread in the right colour.

Are you enjoying autumn so far?

On my birthday last year I wrote a wish list for the year, and having turned 42 nearly two month ago I thought it was time I look over it, and maybe write a new list for Year 42.

That said, a few posts ago I mentioned that I didn't see the point in writing about the things that I failed to tick off any of the many lists I write. Constantly reading 'I wanted to do x, but I didn't' really can't be very interesting for anyone.

With that in mind, the full list is here if you care to read it, and the things I ticked off are as follows...

Did I read everything that on my book shelves the day I turned 41 (29 books)?
Yes! and I read more besides. Two books that had been on my shelves for an age - Lolita and The Dice Man - were started and soon discarded for a more interesting read. Neither captured my imagination but everything else was read. During Year 41 I read 37 books and thanks to a few charity shop book buying sprees I have plenty more to keep me going.

Did I amass a huge book wish list in time for my birthday?
I did have a wish list, and I still do, but with all the books I've been buying (50 since January), I didn't ask for any for my birthday. The only one I received was from Andy, The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, which currently sits at no.25 in my TBR pile. I have so many in the pile I'm considering a ban on buying books. I have no shelf space left, and I'm trying to clear some space in my office where they all currently live.

Did I have lots of cosy afternoons spent reading?
Yes! And a few in the hammock too (I would've liked more, stupid weather), but mostly I read in the early evenings whilst waiting for Andy to come home, or in bed at night before going to sleep. This year I've read more than I ever have, and it feels really good. I often read instead of mindlessly watching yet another repeat of The Big Band Theory on E4. Having read all the books that had been on my shelves for an age has been really satisfying, some had been gathering dust for years! The only thing is that I now have an entirely new set of books to get through.

Was my new company brand and website up and running in time for the new financial year?
Yes, and no. I know in my mind exactly what I want to do, how I want everything to look, I just need to actually do it.

Have I sussed the dairy-free thing?
I tried natural allergy testing, which was hugely beneficial, and now I can eat dairy again. So I didn't just suss it, I kicked it's ass!

Have I improved my flower arranging skills?
In a way. I started to use oasis in opaque vases so that the stems would stay where I put them, instead of flopping all over the place. It's most satisfying, however it's not quite the transformation of my skills that I'd envisioned, but progress none-the-less.

Did I remember to harvest elderflowers at the right time, and make cordial? And gin?
I made a litre of gin, and it's all gone already (it was delicious). As for cordial, I waited too long to pick the blooms and the rain and wind left them ragged and of no use. Still, there is always next year...

What would be on your list?

My summer capsule wardrobe changed somewhat over the course of the season. Some items I decided I wouldn't wear, others became worn out, some pieces I didn't wear because the weather just wasn't up to scratch. So at the end of the three months my capsule looked very different from how it did at the start.




My green skirt was worn frequently, it's definitely my favourite purchase so far this year, but it meant that my other skirts weren't worn as much as last year. And I hardly wore a dress at all.

I added a grey lace motif t-shirt and a gingham dress to the capsule, both of which I was given for my birthday, because I wanted to wear them immediately. I added a blue California motif t-shirt when my favourite grey one twisted a little more each time it was washed, until I had to admit it had become unwearable. I hate saying goodbye to a favourite piece of clothing, don't you?


Thanks to the weather I wore my jumpers more than I'd wanted to, and swapped my ankle grazing skinny jeans for my trusty bootcut jeans, and then added a pair of wide leg jeans having I found them for a bargain £2.00 in a charity shop.

So this capsule was swapped and changed more than any other, and in the end I wore fewer items than the original 36 picked out. But I loved all the outfits it combined to make and really enjoyed the capsule, despite that fact that all my colourful over-the-knee options where rendered unwearable by the weather.

Last year I found putting my autumn capsule together a bit tricky as the weather was still so nice in October, but this year it's going to be much easier, it'll be warm clothes all the way. Bring on the jumpers!

I signed up to the Fast Fashion Fast back in June to see if I could go three months without buying anything from the high street. Those of you who read my Buyer's Archive posts will know that I tripped and fell, purse first, into a few.

Taking part made me look at my spending habits, and whilst I have purchased some high street items during the challenge, I'm happy with what I purchased (pictured above) and don't feel too bad about 'failing'.

Because I don't feel like I've failed.

What I have done is reminded myself of what I've known and felt all along. That as consumers we have a huge amount of power to influence the industry by speaking with our wallets. If we buy less, and wear what we have more and for longer, we create less demand, less demand means fewer items ending up in landfill, and less demand on the garment worker at the beginning of the line, not to mention less pollution in the process.

I don't think ethical fashion holds the answer, certainly not yet. I think the price is prohibitive for many and the availability, whilst improving, isn't great. And even when these things improve I don't believe that it will ever take the place of the high street store, but I do hope that one day ethical clothing will make up a greater proportion of the clothing market. Alongside this I hope to see high street and fast fashion stores improving their working practices, closing the gap between them and ethical fashion brands.

In the meantime I've made a promise to myself. To buy a brand new item only if I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will wear it 30 times or more (I'm already keeping a tally). This is inspired by Livia Firth, and was the catalyst for my #30Wears mini challenge.

Recently I read this article, about reducing waste within the clothing industry.

One statistic was this 'A survey commissioned by Sainsbury’s last spring found that 235m items ended up on landfill sites as people readied their wardrobes for summer.'

235 million items. In landfill. In spring. In the UK.

The same survey by Sainbury's revealed some surprising statistics on recycling, 'The study also uncovered the reasons people do not donate or recycle clothing, with 49% saying they did not think they could because the clothes were worn out or dirty. A further 16% said they did not have time to visit a charity shop, or could not be bothered to sort items, while 6% did not realise clothing could be recycled.'

If you feel you have to buy a particular item, I can't understand why you'd simply throw it in the bin rather than donate it. If it's no longer wearable it can still be recycled, although as the article explains this isn't as straightforward as it might seem, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't bother. Of course the obvious answer is not to buy it in the first place.

So, what started out as an interesting experiment ended in a renewed enthusiasm to 'do my bit' - to buy only what I know I will wear, to buy the best quality I can, to wear my clothes for longer, and to continue to donate and recycle what I no longer need / use / fit into. And I'll continue to buy pre-loved clothes and show that they can be as exciting as a shiny new purchase, right here on this very blog.

I will never apologise for being seen in the same outfit twice, which is something that seems to happen frequently in blogland. I'm not ashamed for featuring clothes I've worn before on my blog. I like to find new outfit combinations for my favourite items, mixing old favourites with new (or new to me) items. I consider nothing in my wardrobe to be disposable, I want to wear every item again, and again, and again.

#onlybuyitifyouloveit #wearitagainandagain

Further reading : Love Your Clothes

Each month I'm posting my clothing and accessory purchases in A Buyer's Archive, inspired by Elise, to keep track of what I'm buying and spending, and to compare with that of last year.

THIS YEAR

Only a few purchases this month, two new items, and one pre-loved. My new purchases are wardrobe staples and I have no doubt that they will be worn time and time again. The navy jumper, £16.00 (worn in the picture above), was a replacement for one I've been wearing regularly for two years.


I bought this navy jumper two years ago because I knew it would be a versatile piece. It's been in every capsule I've had and has been worn both casually and dressed up countless times, a few of which you can see in the above montage. My new one isn't an exact match but it's close enough. I bought a grey one, also £16.00, knowing that it would slot into my wardrobe with ease.

I now ask myself if I'll wear something 30 times or more before making a new purchase, and with these two jumpers the answer was most certainly 'yes'. I've had them only a few weeks and I've worn the navy one half a dozen times already, the grey one twice.

My pre-loved item is a super cute White Stuff shirt with embroidered hearts, found in a charity shop 'Everything-a-Pound' sale. With a vest underneath, jeans, boots and a woolly scarf it's going to be prefect for the coming season.

I'm turning my thoughts to cosy jumpers and thick socks now that autumn is well on it's way, I'm really going to miss the warmer days and lighter evenings. I don't feel like we had a proper summer this year, but you can always depend on the cold weather to materialise!

LAST YEAR
I only spent £4.75 in September last year. I purchased two charity shop items - a £3 coin purse that I'm still using, and a bracelet for £1.25 that has been worn a lot.

Total for September: £33.00

Total so far for 2017: £427.88

Total at this time last year: £531.60

I'm still under last year's spend, and £170 under budget for this year with three months to go - can you believe there are only three months of the year left?!

Check out the #buyersarchive hashtag to see posts from everyone taking part.

Today marks seven years since I published my first post on World Of Joy. I'm celebrating with some French Fancies, because every celebration requires these pink, yellow, and chocolate squares before it can really be called a celebration! The little creamy bit on top is the best bit isn't it?

I've been thinking about all the ways in which my blog has enhanced and influenced my life.

I love having the opportunity to write, it's not something I'd do a lot of otherwise but it's something I really enjoy. It's become a record of my life, one which wouldn't exist if writing in my diary was to be relied upon. I don't know why I can't keep on top of a daily diary, I really don't.

Blogging introduced me to social media, I didn't bother much with it before, but Twitter was a good way to find like minded bloggers. I've since stepped away from Twitter a little and now spend far too much time on Instagram instead. Connecting with people via social media is a very modern form of company, and reading someone's blog is like getting to know them better. I've grown very fond of my little circle of online friends. And those that I've met in real life have always been as lovely as their blogs suggested.

Without my blog I wouldn't read in the way that I do. I read about so many interesting sounding books that my book buying habit became a little out of control, and I needed to ramp up my reading habit to keep up! Almost all of the books I buy are the result of a book review on a blog or Instagram post.

Without my blog I don't think I'd photograph everything in the way that I do. I love having so many photographs to look back on. And while I do sometimes photograph things specifically for my blog, they're memories none-the-less.

Without my blog I never would've visited The Harry Potter Studios. My real life friends didn't seem keen to go, and it's only now that I've been, and told everyone how much fun it is, that they are interested in going along.

Without my blog I wouldn't go along to things alone. I used to blog for an online department store, and then I covered maternity leave for a full time blogger, both of these things offered me the opportunity to go to cat walk shows and blogger events. They were great to experience in themselves, but it also taught me that I could rock up somewhere on my own and the room wouldn't fall silent, with everyone turning to stare as I entered. It allowed me to go places and try things that I don't think I would've done before. When I tell my real life friends I've been somewhere they always ask 'who did you go with', they are often surprised when I say I went alone, 'you're brave' they say.

Some examples are a patchwork quilting class, a needle felting class, a beach clean up, and a 4 night trip into the Sahara. I've always been very comfortable being in my own company but the opportunities blogging gave me taught me I can 'go it alone' without fear of  any one of the number of awful things I imagined happening actually happening.

Without my blog I wouldn't have got into charity shopping. I can say without a doubt that my charity shop habit is a direct result of seeing the things other people found. Charity shop hauls are one of my favourite types of blog post. It opened up a whole new way of shopping and, I've said it before, but I'll say it again, some of my absolute favourite clothing items are pre-loved. I love the ritual of rummaging through the rails, following the same route through town to visit 'all the good ones', and then when you find something you really like, it's such a great feeling - more rewarding than in regular shops.

Without my blog I don't think I would've started and continued a capsule wardrobe. If I hadn't blogged about it, it would be easy to let it slide, but blogging makes me accountable. I like the challenge and sharing the results spurs me on.

At times my blog has been a source of therapy. I've had something on my mind, so I've written about it and the response and support has always been amazing (thank you).

Without my blog I never would've learnt about the existance of the film The Holiday. I don't know how it passed me by but now I watch it every Christmas, sometimes several times. It's become a tradition that I really look forward to each year.

And finally, without my blog I wouldn't have discovered the culinary delight that is Corkers Duck and Hoisin Sauce crisps (exclusive to Waitrose, where I seldom shop). Corkers very kindly sent me a selection of their crisps and these are a taste sensation! If I'm ever near a Waitrose I'll always pop in and buy a bag.

I could go on but you get the picture - blogging has changed and enhanced my life in ways I could never have anticipated. So that just leaves me to say thank you for returning, reading, and commenting, not to mention blogging yourselves and for being friendly and welcoming online friends.

What has blogging done for you?