I was pleased when I first read that Jane and Louisa's photo an hour was going to be held on my birthday. And then I started to worry that my birthday might seem rather boring.

I've already celebrated with a family BBQ back in July, we decided to have it then so Andy could be there, he's currently MIA in a cloud of dust, aka being a farmer at harvest time. I had a Teddy Bears Picnic with my niece and nephew last weekend, and I also have a girls night out planned for a few weeks time - pizza and cocktails!

And today I've been to Go Ape with my best friend - nothing says 'turn 40 in style' like playing about in the tree tops and hurling yourself down zip wires. Great fun!

So anyway, back to yesterday.

5am awake to find a balloon above my bed, after a quick glass of water to combat the previous night's drinking, I went back to sleep

6am woken up by my felines wanting food. I open the cupboard every morning and Tink gets in, turns round and comes straight back out again.


7am time for gifts! I was spoilt by Andy, not only has he organised a trip into the Sahara for me he gave me loads of gifts too - a scarf, a giraffe, a tea cosy, an Italian cookery book, and interiors book, some bath bombs, a huge tube of Parma Violets, gardening gloves...


8am it's become a bit of tradition that we get up and go to a local Little Chef for my birthday breakfast. This is a bit later than usual as it was a wet day and Andy didn't need to rush off to work so early.


9am with Andy off to work, I settled down with a cuppa to open my birthday cards. This is my favourite, it's from my Dad who always finds the best cards!


10am After a late night and an early morning I was snoozing when this should've been taken. Zzzz.

11am my Mum and her husband arrived so it was time for more tea and gifts


12pm leaving for my birthday lunch


1pm lunch at The Fountain in Tuddenham, we sat in the garden in glorious sunshine


2pm we decided to drive to a different pub for dessert, I had mint tea and strawberry ice cream


3pm after dessert and a good long sit, sipping tea, we headed out to Needham Market, there is an old cattle tunnel, under the railway line. I have to bow my head to walk under it and I'm only 5ft4'. It takes you from the station, across a common, across a river, and to Alder Carr Farm


4pm Alder Carr Farm has PYO, a shop with locally grown and sourced produce, gift shops, haberdashery, pottery and a lovely little tea shop. After a good nose around them all we decided it was time for more tea (and cake)


5pm on our way back to the car we played Pooh Stick, I won but also got a splinter


6pm after a day of so much lovely food I was in the mood for something quick and simple. Andy came home and made me beans beside toast


7pm the viewing for the evening - Paddington!


8pm we stopped our viewing so I could take a photo of this amazing sky


9pm one final cup of tea before bed.

 I hope you had a lovely day, and thanks to Jane and Louisa for organising A Photo An Hour.

It's my birthday today. I'm 40. Yep, the BIG FOUR-O.

I'm feeling OK about leaving my thirties, I can't see any point in freaking out about it. I can't stop time. Although it would be totally awesome if I could.

Can I still say 'totally awesome' at the age of 40? I wonder if I say 'totally awesome' in real life... *thinks about it* no, I don't think I do.

I'm off having a lovely day, snapping photos throughout, as I'm taking part in Jane and Louisa's A Photo An Hour again.


I'll pop the post up tomorrow, so you can see what a raucous day I'll have had (ahem), and the day after I'll be posting again. Because I've set myself a little challenge - to post everyday for 40 days.

I know that the key to getting things done is making the decision to do them. I always have numerous posts in my drafts folder, so I've made it my mission to publish them all.

Some are old, some are a bit personal so I've resisted hitting 'publish', some are recipes I've been wanting to try for an absolute age. There's a real hotchpotch of things to come. I hope you enjoy.

So I'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that...

I had an early birthday celebration this weekend and everyone asked me what I'd like for my birthday.

I'm a list lover, so I sat down to write one.

I found this necklace. I love it's beautiful simplicity - 15" long, 14K gold, faceted rough finished ruby, tiny white pearl at clasp - I think it's very, very pretty.
 But that's it. It's a short list.

I just don't 'want' anything particularly. I've been decluttering and it's made me realise how much stuff I have but never use. I'm finding the process of sorting it all out extremely satisfying.

What I'd really like is time. Time with Andy. Time with my friends and family. Experiences not things - trips to the beach, exhibitions, meals out, afternoon tea, travel, mooching about.

Such memories you keep forever. No storage required.

It dawned on me recently that I turn 40 this year. In August. That's, like, really REALLY soon.

I've come to see it as just a number, but it's a milestone and I want to celebrate it and look forward to it. I think I'm going to have party, dress up and wear fabulous shoes.

You're all invited.

There seems to be a lot on the internet about turning 40. Do's and don'ts and the like, some I read with interest, others not. I came across this 40 before 40 list on Easy Living* and thought it would be fun to see how many I have or can tick off.

The first is hard to prove...

1. Understand, once and for all, to stop caring what other people think of you, and instead start caring what YOU think of THEM.
There are some situations in which I don't give a hoot about what others might think, but it's not always the case. I have found that as I get older I'm asking myself more and more 'what do I think about that?', 'do I agree with that?', 'how does this make me feel?'.

2. Buy a piece of artwork.
Done. William Bird by Natasha Newton. He sits on my bedside table. I'd love to own more of her work and am looking forward to attending an exhibition in early May.

3. Find your perfect red lipstick... And know how to not get it on your teeth.
I love No7 Poppy King, History for a daytime red and Revlon Super Lustrous, Black Cherry for evening. I have lots of reds but it's not the getting-it-on-your-teeth thing that perplexes me, it's the getting-it-to-stay-put that I find difficult, no matter how many 'how to get your lippy to stay put' tutorials I read.

4. Learn to gracefully accept a compliment.
Done. When I was still at college, a friend and I were waiting to leave for a party one evening and her Mum told her off for brushing off a compliment she'd just been given. She told her that it was extremely rude to do so and said "you simply need to smile and say 'thank you', you can tell them that it's sweet of them to say so if you wish, but never ignore a compliment. It belittles both you and the person who gave it to you". I'll never forget those words.

5. Laugh until you cry.
Example - my friend posted a video on Facebook of runway models falling over. I laughed so hard I couldn't talk. Andy came home and found me in a state of silent giggles, unable to catch my breath and unable to communicate what was going on. He thought I was choking, which just made it funnier. People falling over = hilarious.

6. Skinny dip.
Never say never...

7. Scream on a roller coaster.
Done but I'll happily do it again.

8. Stay awake until the sun comes up.
Done. Would also do this again.

9. Sleep under the stars.
I have an idea for this but unlikely to happen before I turn 40.

10. Try life as a blonde, a brunette and a redhead: nobody wants a boring look book.
Colour is not my thing (too much upkeep), but I have had a number of styles over the years. I feel this perhaps deserves a post of it's own?

11. Have dessert without feeling guilty.
Ha! Done. I can't believe that this is even on the list. I do this all the time, food is meant to be enjoyed!

12. Learn your high heel 'too high' threshold and adhere to it. If you hobble, they're too high.
This is getting lower as I get older, currently stands (ho ho) at about 3 inches but it largely depends on the individual shoe.

13. Find your signature style... But do still take fashion risks.
Where to even begin on this subject? I think I have a style but what qualifies as a risk? One woman's risk is another woman's... erm, something.

14. Find a whiskey you like.
I hate whiskey. Can I change it to gin? If so, Bombay Sapphire, although this could do with some more research, there is a gin bar locally that needs my attention. Any gin bar needs my attention.

15. Eat by yourself in a restaurant.
I've eaten lunch in a restaurant on my own countless times. Not sure if I could do it for a three course dinner though.

16. Date the wrong person.
OhMyGod yes, done that. More than once.

17. Go on a road trip.
I'd love a Thelma & Louise style trip, but without the whole driving of the edge of a cliff bit obviously.

18. Japan. Or Rio. Or Burma. Tick at least one of your dream destinations off your list.
I always wanted to visit New York and I finally went in November 2006. It was freezing, I'd love to go back in warmer weather.

19. Have a crazy weekend in Las Vegas.
I certainly wouldn't turn down the opportunity should it arise, although unlikely to happen before August.

20. Go to the perfect music festival. (Sun, laughter and great headliners are a must!)
Still got my fingers crossed for Latitude this summer.

21. Have a home you love and design it with confidence and style.
I love our home and I am slowly making progress, decorating it with more confidence than I've ever felt before, but I don't ever think a home is finished no matter how long you live there, a home constantly evolves.

22. Own a piece of jewellery that means something.
I have a locket that my Aunt gave me as a bridesmaid gift when I was 11. It was the first piece of 'grown up' jewellery I owned and I still wear it a lot, always have. I'm wearing as I write this. Also, my wedding and engagement rings. I've only been wearing my engagement ring for 127 days and my wedding band for 26 days but I'm already incredibly attached to them.

23. Have a signature dish (even if it's really easy).
I make a good chilli and a smoked haddock and bacon chowder.

24. Take a trip by yourself.
I wouldn't mind doing this, but surely it would be better with someone to share it with?

25. Be proud of something you've achieved through hard work.
Working for myself is something that I never thought I would do and yet here I am.

26. Volunteer.
Done - I am a fundraiser and committee member for a local charity, helping to raise funds for a new cancer centre at our local hospital.

27. Find a form of exercise you actually like.
I like running and I like yoga. I just don't do them regularly.

28. Have far too many books on your 'must read' list.
Done - I don't have a list, I have a pile (and it's growing).

29. Have a dirty secret.
Done, not going into details.

30. Kick a bad habit.
Done. I gave up smoking and biting my nails.

31. Learn a language - whether its sign language, Swahili or some French.
I got a C in GCSE French, does that count? If I go to a country I always like to know how to say hello, goodbye, how are you?, please, and thank you. If I can I like to learn more while I'm there too.

32. Take a course, whether it's getting a master's degree or mastering pastry making.
Done. I have a degree but I would like to keep learning. I took a very short course last year in patchwork quilting but I've also been contemplating butchery or making furniture. Or floristry.

33. Live in another country (for at least six months).
Not going to happen. Where I live now is where I will be for a long time and I can't think of any reason why this would ever change.

34. Wear leather trousers.
I might, just the once, if I can find a pair in my size in a charity shop.

35. Buy expensive china, glassware and bedding... And use it every day for a week.
This is lost on me, I don't really keep anything 'for best'. I'd rather use and enjoy the things I have than keep them stashed out of sight waiting for 'the right time'. I always try to buy the best quality items I can afford, or I spend as much as I think something is actually worth - a plate is still a plate no matter how much it costs. Does it make your food taste nicer? No it doesn't.

36. Walk into Chanel and try on all of their little jackets.
Possibly... but the thought of this doesn't exactly float my boat.

37. Invest in something custom made - whether it's shoes, a dress or a bespoke suit.
I'd love to commission a painting.

38. Have drunk sex with the lights on.
Ha! Done. The only reason the lights stayed on was because I was drunk.

39. Call your parents and tell them you love them.
Done.

40. Write yourself a letter about why turning 40 is the best thing that ever happened to you.
It's not like I made it happen, it was always going to happen but I'll give this a try.

I think I've ticked off a healthy amount, and there is no reason why I can't do any of these things after 40, they say *cliche alert* life begins at 40.

*since finding the list and writing this post, it now links to House & Garden.

It was my birthday just over a month ago, and in all honesty I thought I'd be receiving an engagement ring. It was a thought that occurred to me a few months before, a thought that, once there, stuck in my mind and wouldn't go away.

I've never been overly fussed about getting married, always seeing it as something we would do 'in the future'. So, I can't explain why I had a feeling it would happen, I just thought it would.

When my friends started to get married (well over a decade ago now), one after the other, after the other, I had no real hankering to join them. I've always been the one to do everything in my own sweet time, preferring to do things at a time that's right for me and not just because it's 'the norm'.

The day of my birthday I was given my presents and we had a hasty breakfast before he had to leave for work. And then I cried. I cried rather a lot, and it was only then that I realised how much I wanted him to propose. Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

We've spoken about marriage before, talked about where it could be, how many people we would like to attend and in the past I've said that I'd like to be married before I'm 40. Forty seemed like a long way off then. I'm now 39, one month and 4 days old. I don't know where this feeling came from and I can't put my finger on why it makes a difference.

I don't want to nag him into it, I'm not the nagging kind. A friend of mine suggested an ultimatum. Again, this isn't my style. Apart from anything else an ultimatum would leave me questioning his motives. I want him to marry me because he wants to marry me and for no other reason than that.

And so I wait quietly and time ticks on. I wonder, not only about where the hell all of this came from, but also about why it suddenly matters so much more than it ever did?

Love

Forty. I roll this number around my head sometimes and although the big-four-o is two years off, I can't help thinking about it. A few months ago I read some posts about the expectations of life at 30. A few of the things that seem to be expected of a newly turned 30 something still have yet to happen for me.

I don't have many regrets, my life has turned out the way it has through choices I have made and circumstances beyond my control in equal measure. I like my life, I love my partner, the home we live in, my job, my friends. I'm pretty happy. Things have just taken longer than I expected and that's just fine.

Over the years I realised that it's OK not to be doing the same thing, at the same time as my peers. When we're younger, most of us assume that by the time we reach 30 life will be sorted and who can blame us for thinking that? For most of our early lives we follow the same path - school, exams, first jobs, learning to drive - these things all happen at about the same time.

I certainly assumed all of these things. But for me things only really started to come together at the age of 33 when I met my partner. I'd decided to end a few long term relationships because I knew they weren't right for me. At the time a lot of people thought I was crazy but I will never regret waiting for the right man. Four years on we're living in our 'forever home' and (only very recently) I got the job I'd always dreamed of. Marriage and babies are still to come.

Sadly, I'm made to feel like an outsider at times by my married friends with children (and after a conversation with a childless friend I know I am not alone in feeling this way), but I was not going to jump into something that wasn't right for me in order to 'keep up' or 'fit in'. I've witnessed the result of such actions within my peer group and the outcome is never a happy one.

When it comes to getting married, I feel that a big white wedding at the age of forty is a no-no. I fully expect to be much nearer forty, possibly even older, by the time we tie the knot and although I've never wanted the pomp and ceremony, I do feel that the sort of wedding we could have had our 20s or early 30s is not quite right for us now. The older I get the smaller the day becomes in my head, I don't want speeches, a first dance or a three tier cake and neither does Mr Joy. We want a small celebration, perhaps even at home.

My dress will be lovely and my shoes fabulous but - dare I say it? - both will be age appropriate. Oh yeah, I went there. As much as I would like to think that everyone should be able to wear whatever they please - especially on their wedding day - sometimes it just doesn't work in reality. Just as wet look leggings should remain the remit of late teens and early twenty somethings, the lavish wedding gown is a no-go area for the forty year old bride.

I guess we could tie the knot wearing matching Elvis outfits on the top deck of a bus IF we wanted too, but we don't. What I do know is that our wedding day will be perfect for us at that moment in time. And then babies, which is another can of worms entirely when you're the wrong side of 35...

So as I sit here today, the day after my 38th birthday, eating Champagne Truffles (yes, at this time in the morning), I'm sticking two fingers up at the norm, knowing that although it will sometimes be hard and sometimes I'll feel like an outsider, I'll continue to do it my way and in my own sweet time.