My Life as a Farmer's Wife

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

People are often intrigued by the life of a farmer, I think it has something to do with being at one with nature, working outside, a sort of hunter-gather type thing.

A lot of people say it's a profession that appeals to them, but it's more of a lifestyle than a job. Andy was born to it, and I can't imagine him doing anything else.


My life as a farmer's wife is not a traditional role. I don't help on the farm on a daily basis, I'm not 'hands on'. The farm is arable so luckily we have no animals to tend to. I say luckily because it means he gets at least one day off a year. Christmas Day is the only day I can guarantee he won't try to head out to work, but I'm sure he would if he thought he could get away with it.

I've spoken about harvest on here before, and I often mention that we don't get a lot of time to spend together, but I do think that because of that, the time we do have together is really special. It's hard to take something for granted when it doesn't happen very often.

What being a farmer's wife means, for me, is that I take on the responsibility for everything in the home. I do the decorating, gardening, and sort out things like having a water softener installed, or arranging for cavity wall insulation to be installed (fitted? put it? what do you do with cavity wall insulation?).

My role is sorting out all the life stuff that Andy doesn't have time for, it might sound very 1950s housewife, but I see it as important as it helps Andy to focus on what he needs to do. Farming is becoming increasingly difficult, there is so much to do, all the time, everyday. It's relentless, and if I can help him by making sure his clothes are clean, there is food to eat, and I remember to send birthday cards to his extended family, then it's the least I can do. We might go about our days separately but we're a team.

I do end up doing a lot of things alone because Andy is working. Evenings out, weddings, dinner parties, family events. It can be a solitary life, but I'm comfortable in my own company so it works for us.

I would like to see a little more of him though, it has to be said.

I help on the farm in small (very small) ways, I taxi him between farms, and I am an escort driver when he's moving large vehicles, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning when the roads are mostly clear.

I've learnt to drive a loader, albeit only on the farm. It's not something I ever imagined doing, much like using a ride on lawnmower, and having a genuine need for a pair of Hunter wellies. I never imagined that I'd cook pheasant and venison, let alone that which I'd probably seen wandering outside in our garden. And I didn't know what grain diving was until I met Andy.

The life of a farmer's wife has many quirks. Sometimes sitting in tractor cab with him while he works constitutes a date, and when we drive anywhere you can guarantee we'll take the scenic route so he can see what's going on on other farms (something they all do). And you can never watch Country File without him shouting at the TV. And he'll point out all the historical agricultural inaccuracies in any period drama you watch.

In the summer I'll only see him during daylight hours if it's raining. Last year I got up really early one morning to do a carboot sale and he said to me 'it's nice to see you standing up and wearing clothes'. He'd been going to, and returning from work, after I went to bed and before I got up.

His pockets will almost always contain grain, and I find it scattered all over the house. My kitchen floor will only ever be clean for the time between washing it and Andy arriving home, and we have to do everything spontaneously because making plans is impossible - everything depends on the weather.

When everyone is hoping the sun will shine I often find myself wanting rain, scanning the sky for grey clouds. And I've discovered it's possible to have too much weather. Torrential rain, heavy hail storms, high winds, and snow can all have a devastating effect on crops. I've never been more aware of the weather than I am now.

It's a unique way of life but I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes it's hard, but I'm very proud of what Andy does. I'd like to help more, I just need to continue to find ways I can do so.

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14 comments

  1. Thank you! I love this - more please!! so what is grain diving? I am concerned for you as I saw on the news today that grains are not growing strong due to the heatwave meaning 25% less crop for farmers and a shortage of animal feed ahead. Your lifestyle sounds wonderful but also hard work and not at all romantic. No skipping through poppy fields in hippy dresses bare foot for you methinks! I will never complain about rain again after this heatwave is over and I will think of you whenever it does rain!

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    1. Grain diving is jumping into a pile of grain from height. It's fun, but the grain does get everywhere!
      Yields aren't great, and farmers put great pride in producing as much as possible, and yet so much of what they do is predicted by the weather and is completely out of their hands.
      No poppy fields for me, even if we had the time poppy fields wouldn't survive around here, farmers hate poppies - they're weeds (apparently). I do wear a lot of dresses though, and if I skip, I skip alone. I tried skipping with my nephews once but they weren't having any of it :)
      Some rain would be nice, but it has to be the right kind of rain and the right time. I never knew weather could be so complicated!
      Glad you enjoyed this.
      xx

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  2. It sounds like you've slotted well into that way of life but I think I'd find it very hard, I suppose it all depends on what you're used to and what you're comfortable with. I have lots of admiration for farmers though, as you say, it's a way of life rather than a job and I know it can be very hard at times.

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    1. I think those that know farmers understand how hard they work and the difficulties they face, but it feels at times as if they're blamed for everything by the wider community. I find it very disheartening, they work hard to make food, what would happen if they all just decided to stop?
      x

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  3. I loved reading about what it means being a farmer's wife, as I think a lot of people really have no idea. My ex-colleague's partner is a farmer too, and he's been telling the same story as you, including the 1950s housewife bit (only, he's a he, not sure if there's an equivalent!). The weather part must be very frustrating, and quite scary at times, as you have no control over it. xxx

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    1. I think perhaps if we had cattle I'd be more involved, but there isn't a lot I can do on the farm really. I would like to feel of more use, especially when there aren't enough hours in the day for Andy.
      The weather can be frustrating, but it always seems to work out OK. Yields are down but harvest is going well, the sticking point is that the ground is too hard to cultivate at the moment. Until we get some rain preparing the ground for next year is on hold. And of course there is a higher risk of fire with the dry weather. It's never simple.
      xx

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  4. What a fascinating read, Hazel.
    Our lives couldn't be further apart with Jon & I working together and being absolute townies. I'm a bit scared of the countryside, the only time I venture there is for festivals and car boot sales. xxx

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    1. Nothing to fear in the countryside, except maybe the people ;)
      xx

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  5. I enjoyed reading this, thank you.

    All the best Jan

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  6. This was really interesting. I think we can romanticise or not appreciate how hard it is to be a farmer (and be married to one). Thank you for the information x

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you enjoyed it
      x

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  7. Fascinating, Hazel. And that wedding picture is perfection! x

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    1. It's a gorgeous pic, one of my many favourites from the day!
      x

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Thank you for taking the time to comment x

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