I've been working for myself for five years now. Over the last few years the work has settled to a slow pace meaning that I work approximately two days a week. And for months I felt embarrassed by this. I wasn't concerned by the lack of work. I wasn't looking or hoping for more work, and yet I would make excuses, 'it's usually quiet at this time of year' I'd hear myself say if anyone asked if work was busy.

But recently I realised that I didn't want to take part in the game of Let's See Who's the Busiest anymore. I'm not interested in working all the hours of the day, and rushing from A to B without a moment's rest in between. I'd equated being busy with being successful, with living a full life.

And then I realised that was utter crap.

I decided to stop being embarrassed about working part time, and decided to figure out what success really meant to me.

I know that I am very fortunate not to have to work full time. But it's not just about work, it's about all the things we choose to do in life.

And that's the important bit. We have a choice.

I often hear people talking about how very busy they are, they seem to wear it like a badge of honour. I call it The Glorification of Busy. But what's so great about being rushed off your feet all day, everyday? Are you achieving more? Are you happier if you've never got a spare minute?

I know I wasn't.

Now when someone asks if work is busy I say no. I tell them I'm only working about two days a week. They often look blank. Or assume I'm worried and ask about what self promotion I'm doing. When I tell them I'm not concerned I get more blank looks. It's like they're asking me 'what do you do with all your time then?'

I rarely sit around doing nothing. I have lots of plans, lots on my to-do list. Working part time isn't the same as having nothing to do.

I'm able to take my time over work or anything else I do. The pace of life is slower and it's wonderful. I literally have time to 'wake up and smell the roses'.

I don't have to rush. I have the time to plan, to be fully prepared, I have the time to be spontaneous. I have the time to start a task and finish it. I have the time to spend with family and friends. I have the time to try new things, to look after myself. 'Me time', the holy grail for some, but for me it's essential, it's self care. If you don't look after yourself, you have little left with which to look after others.

I can spend time on things that are important to me. I can spend a day with my family at a moment's notice. I have time to keep the house clean and tidy, and I have time prepare meals from scratch. I have time to do yoga every morning. When I sat down and asked myself what was important to me, what made me happy, these things were at the top of the list.

Nurturing relationships, improving my surroundings, and taking care of my husband and myself are the things that bring me the most happiness. Everything else comes after that including work, success, money, and material possessions.

Time is precious, it goes by so fast that I don't want to waste it by being too busy to enjoy it. We never know how much time we've got. So I work part time and spend the rest of my time doing the things that help to create a happy and calm existence, and that's not something I'm prepared to be embarrassed about.

What would you change (or what have you changed) in your life to have a little more time? What are the things in life that bring you the most joy?

Greenhouse pottering
I've spent a lot of time in my greenhouse this week, it's old and and in need of some serious TLC but I love it. I'm growing numerous things but sometimes I just sit in there with a cup of tea, sometimes with a book. It's warm, my cats love to join me in there and at this time of year, when the weather can be a little chilly, it allows me to be outside without having to brave the elements.

Knitting
Every once in a while I get the urge to knit. I love knitting Monkey Moo, he knits up super quick and is always loved by his recipient.

Baking
A slightly out of date jar of lemon curd inspired me to pop on my pinny and make some Lemon Curd Thumbprint Cookies (I wasn't about to let a use by date cheat me out of the lemony goodness). They're utterly delicious! It's left me with a hankering to bake more often, perhaps some banana oat cookies...?

Reading
My current read is charming, and one I found via Yarn Along - Sylvia's Farm: The Journal of an Improbable Shepherd by Sylvia Jorrin. I'm really enjoying the short chapters, each a stand alone story of the farm. It leaves me a desire to make the most of each and every single day, to do just one more thing to work towards a goal, and to be happy and grateful with my lot.

Changing my routine
I decided to change my working hours in an attempt to have a little more routine to my days. Now I work in the mornings, I'm at my desk by 8am and finish some where between noon and 1pm.

The afternoons are mine. This is when I get my housework done, or I potter in the greenhouse, maybe read for an hour, write my meal plan, bake, go for a walk. It feels nice to know that after lunch I can ignore the emails and focus on everything else that life entails.

Before doing this, I had a 'just quickly' mindset, where I'd just quickly pop some washing on, just quickly run the vacuum around, just quickly nip outside and water the plants. I found that I'd 'work' a full day but rarely get more than half a days work done.

If I need to work into the afternoon then I do but I find this way I can concentrate on the task in hand. I feel like I'm achieving more each day. Multitasking has it's place but day-to-day I'm finding it's better to focus on one thing at a time.

Also
Having a bit of a bee moment. Thanks to Instagram I was alerted to a rather delicious sounding coconut and pear lip balm, it's limited edition and for each one sold 5,000 wild flower seeds are planted. Isn't that lovely? I purchased three (they're as nice as they sound), and gave one to my Mum.

I also uploaded a #SelflessSelfie via the Burt's Bees website, they add flowers to your selfie and with each one uploaded a further 5,000 seeds are planted.

Meanwhile in my own garden I've been planting bee friendly plants and made a bee bath, but that's for another post...

What have you been up to this week?

At the beginning of the year I anticipated change and a third of the way through the year, my life already feels entirely different, which is largely due to all the work nonsense. What followed was me setting up as a freelance designer. It started out being hectic, but it's pace has slowed a little now.

Before I would play out a scene which you are probably all familiar with - rushing around to get to work, rushing to meet deadlines throughout the day and then rushing home to find supper hasn't cooked itself (or managed to drag it's sorry arse out of the freezer). Evenings where spent crashed out, thinking about all the housework and exercise that wasn't getting done.

Looking back I was exhausted all the time. Running on auto pilot. And now that I have more time, what do I do? I berate myself for not living in a spotless house, with meals planned a week in advance, laundry done, blah, blah. Blah. How can these things not be done when I have All. This. Time? Why do we do this to ourselves? Put ourselves under so much pressure?

I have freelance work to do, I'm covering maternity leave for Bethanie and looking after her blog, I have this blog, I'm on the committee of a local charity, do any design work they need, run their social media and help out at fundraising events (including organising a clothes swap every six weeks), I have recently started working with a local company, setting up and running a social media campaign for a Guinness World Record attempt, for the largest gathering of fairies (in aid of the afore mentioned charity). I am slowly building my own website and am learning to crochet and trying to get through a mountain of unread books. In addition to all the house stuff.

So when I say I have 'all this time', I realise that that was just an expectation I had of not being 'in work'.

I love the freedom of being able to work at anytime of the day (or night) or go food shopping mid morning, when it's not so busy and have the flexibility to come and go as I please but the problem with having no set routine is that I can become unfocused and jump from one thing to another, on the flip side I easily become engrossed in something and before I know it hours have gone by, leaving no time for anything else.

A few months in and niggles surfaced. I was jittery and couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't achieving anything. But this morning I realised that I'm in control, it's all entirely down to me. First of all I needed to give myself a break, let it go, shrug it off (an actual massive, who gives a damn, tension releasing shoulder shrug) and simply set out a bit more of a routine. I realise that so far the worst consequence of my 'failings' has been running out of bread on occasion - Mr Joy had to buy his lunch. And we've run out of milk a few times which means drinking herbal tea. And the house is a mess sometimes. Not exactly disastrous is it?

So, despite the randomness of my first few months as self employed, I've decided I'm doing okay.