It's our fourth wedding anniversary today and I thought I'd share the reading we chose, which was read by my sister-in-law, before we said our vows. Having that time to focus on something else allowed us to take a moment, compose ourselves, and calm our nerves.

The same emotions I felt that day come rushing back every time I read it, it ignites the memories so clearly.

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks - all those conversations that began with, 'When we're married", and continued with "I will", and "you will", and "we will" - all those late night talks that included "someday", and "somehow" and "maybe" - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows you are about to make are a way of saying to one and other, "You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word."

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another - acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned so much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world -
This is my husband. This is my wife.

Andy came home a while ago and told me about an interview he'd heard on the radio with a lady talking about how, and why, she wears her wedding dress regularly.

He knew I'd enjoy hearing about it as I can often be found wandering about the house wearing mine. Instances have become less frequent but I still enjoy wearing it once in a while. Andy has received several selfies of me in my dress, usually accessorised with slippers or an old cardy.


Before we were married I read an article about a lady who wears her dress every year on their anniversary, no matter where they are or what they're doing. She'd worn it to breakfast in a small B&B it one year. I love this idea.

I wore mine on our first anniversary. I put it on and walked out into the yard as Andy came home from work, we were going out to dinner that night and I was forbidden from wearing it, I think I probably would've given half the chance.

One day I was in a bit of an odd mood, y'know one of those I'm not sure why I feel like this kinda moods. I snapped at Andy (I forget the reason, if there even was one), so I went upstairs and slipped into my dress. I reappeared in the kitchen doorway and asked if he'd like a cuppa. I then spent a very pleasant few minutes sitting with him on the sofa sipping tea, mood lifted.

At some point I'm going to have it dry cleaned and then vacuum pack it, but that means I won't be able to unzip the cover and gaze at it. And then give in to temptation and put it on, again.
My friend told me that her Mum's dress has been vacuum packed for over thirty years and it's as white as the day it was purchased. No yellowing at all. I can't bear the thought that happening to mine.

After we got married Andy and I both said we'd like to renew our vows, I think all newly weds say this in the glowey aftermath of their nuptials, I very much doubt we ever will but if we do I hope I can still fit into it.

What have you done with your wedding dress? Do you still have it? Do you ever wear it?

Today is our first wedding anniversary. We're celebrating with a meal at the hotel we got married in. I like to think of this as our hotel now, we own it. Or at least that's how it feels.

I got the impression that the first year of marriage was hard, I don't know where this idea came from, it was just there, lurking. I obviously heard or read it somewhere and it stuck.

On my hen night, as I settled down for a sleepover at my best friend's house, I asked the girls 'is the first year really hard?'. They said no, just keep communicating and doing what you're doing. They were right (of course they were, they're a wise bunch - crazy, loyal, fun, and fabulous too but that's another post entirely).

And it's true, the first year hasn't been hard. It's been great.

Lots of people say that a marriage certificate, a piece of paper, doesn't change a thing but I disagree.

Andy and are closer than ever. I feel like I belong more than I ever have. And it's because of that day we shared a year ago - that amazing, magical, perfect day. In some ways even sharing the day itself brought us closer together.

I loved getting married. But I love being married even more.

That's not to say there haven't been difficult moments, there have, and the girls were right, communication was the all important factor. I'm certain there will be more tough times mixed in with the good along the way, but in exchanging our vows we made a promise to each other, to share the joys and the sorrows together, and it's a promise we both take seriously and value highly.

No matter what life throws our way, we're a team for the rest of our lives together.

We've been married two months now and I'll soon be coming to an end with my Wedding Wednesday posts, but I couldn't stop without telling you about our wedding cake, because IRL people are still talking about it.

Back in August 2013 I wrote 'I don't want speeches, a first dance or a three tier cake...' Ha! didn't I have to eat my words!

2013 was also the year my friend Helen decided to wave goodbye to graphic design and make wedding cakes for a living, starting up Amelie's Kitchen.

When Andy proposed I knew I'd go to Helen for our cake. What I wasn't prepared for was being told we need four tiers to cater for all our guests. Four! I'd had thoughts of a simple cake, a single tier, a few nice embellishments. On hearing this I thought 'what the heck, go big or go home' and got stuck in to choosing a design.


Helen made the process so enjoyable. She sketched out my ideas based on elements I'd picked out from her existing designs, some ideas I'd seen on Pinterest, and offered up some suggestions too.

In fact it was Helen who suggested using striped ribbon on the cake, which I then added to the bouquets, buttonholes and table arrangements. It became one of my favourite elements of our overall theme.


The result was stunning, I loved, loved, loved how it turned out and oh-my-goodness it tasted divine!

And I'm not the only one who thought so, many of our guests have since commented on how delicious it was, some of them more than once. I bet there are a few of them that could describe the cake in minute detail but couldn't tell you a thing about the venue or my dress.

We chose to have two tiers of rich chocolate mud cake with a salted caramel filling and two tiers of white chocolate mud cake with a passion fruit filling. And the icing wasn't ordinary icing, 'Our iced cakes are coated in a thin layer of co-ordinating ganache prior to icing with a very thin layer of Swiss patisserie style fondant' and it was exquisite, and not at all sickly like many fondants can be.

I have to admit to being surprised by how much the cake became a part of the celebration, I know it's traditional (although we didn't have the awkward cutting of the cake), but it was a real talking point on the night and in the days after. The added bonus was having some left over - I ate cake for breakfast everyday for the first week of married life.


I fully intend to have Helen make a cake for our first anniversary, we just need to decide between chocolate or white chocolate, we couldn't possibly have a two tier anniversary cake... could we?

Find Helen on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and Instagram. 

And check out Helen's wedding cake selfie here, this is adorable!

Indulge me again, if you will, and allow me to talk about our wedding some more. Here I'm sharing a few stills from our wedding video, they're not fabulous quality but tell the story of our ceremony. We'd briefly talked about having a videographer but didn't come to any sort of conclusion. And then, a few days before the wedding, Andy's sister asked if we wanted them to set up a camera in the corner.  Something simple, homemade (and free!).

I love that we have it, I can't tell you how many times I've watched it already. It goes out of focus and you can hear the whirr as it re focusses itself. We can hear the click of camera shutters, traffic, our two year old flower girl chatting away but on the day itself, we heard none of this. On the day we didn't really even notice anyone else in the room.

To watch it is so lovely. I get to see what happened in the room before I arrived, and get to see Andy as he waits for me, he didn't look round to see me walking in so he gets to see that, and each time we watch it we can see the reactions and expressions of different people in the room, including the random stranger peering in through the window. It's a pretty amazing thing to have, even in all it's amateur glory. I wish we'd filmed more of the day.

So to get to the the point I'm trying to make, if you're getting married have a video camera somewhere about the place, even if you hate the thought of being filmed, I promise you won't regret it.

So, here they are, photographs from our wedding day. I didn't think it would be possible to narrow it down to just a handful, but I decided not to show pictures of our guests. This blog isn't known to them all so I couldn't ask permission and felt it would be unfair of me to publish their pictures without their knowledge.

What I'm showing you here are some of my favourite shots, all of these where taken by Katie Drouet and, I think, show what an absolutely fantastic talent she is. She captured the details, the quiet moments, the action and the atmosphere of the day so perfectly.

Andy's favourite photos are those taken before the ceremony, the 'getting ready' shots. I have so many I don't know where to begin but the shots of my Dad when he sees me in my wedding dress make me go teary every single time. The shots of Andy's first look as I appear by his side bring back the feelings so vividly, and the outdoor shots of just the two of us make me smile so deeply that I feel like I'm right back there.

I hope you enjoy them.



















If you'd like to see some of the non professional photographs from the day just leave me a comment below x

Just as I was starting to write a different Wedding Wednesday post the postman knocked at my door. I knew why, I'd been eagerly awaiting him. Yesterday our wedding photographer, Katie Drouet, sent me a message saying our wedding photos where in the post.

The kicker is that I can't look at them yet as I've promised Andy that I'll wait until he gets home from work, so we can see them together.

So, this post is really a diversionary tactic to stop me from having a peek. What I am going to share with you is the awesome package that arrived wrapped in brown paper (as we know, all the best packages come wrapped in this).


Under the brown paper was bubble wrap (saved that to enjoy later), and a cute sticker. I could hear her cheery voice in my head.







As well as receiving the cutest USB stick, Katie sent us come fridge magnets and stickers. And her business card which I am shamefully sharing with you here - if you're getting married in Suffolk or Essex, I can't recommend her highly enough. Having Katie take our wedding photos was amazing, she's is such a sweet lady and super talented, I genuinely think she bought a little special something to our day.

I'll share some photos with you soon, I know I won't be able to wait until next Wednesday!

In no particular order her are some of my favourite moments from our wedding day.

1. The vows

I was convinced that I'd get very emotional and would cry my way through our ceremony but I’m glad to say that I didn’t (OK, maybe a little teeny tiny bit). I was able to speak clearly and held it together during the reading by my sister-in-law.

I enjoyed it all so much, I held Andy's hands and we looked directly into each others eyes as we made our promises to each other. We also giggled, I stuck my tongue out at him, we didn’t let go of each other and, I later found out, we both had to fight the urge to kiss each other when I first arrived by Andy's side. I stole a cheeky second kiss after our first as husband and wife, and couldn’t help but comment on how clean Andy’s hands where as I put the ring on his finger.

If I had to describe our ceremony in just one word, I would say 'perfect'.

2. Waiting outside the room with my Dad before the ceremony

Someone from the hotel was meant to come and collect my Dad and I from my room before the ceremony, but Andy had given me strict instructions not to be late, so at 2.55pm Dad and I started making our way to the ceremony room, practicing our 'slow walk' on the way.

We arrived and had to wait for the music to start and I chattered away, knowing that if I kept my mind and mouth occupied I wouldn’t think too much about what I was about to do and get emotional.

I’m told they could hear me chatting and giggling inside the room, including my rendition of the Benny Hill theme tune. The perfect music to make your entrance in my opinion - I only wish I'd thought of it sooner.

I nodded to my bridesmaid to go in and as Dad and I waited for our turn I told him I loved him and off we went. Andy kept looking straight ahead, only turning when I arrived by his side. He was beaming from ear to ear.

3. The drive between venues

Andy decided a long time ago that he would drive us from the day venue to our evening venue. He wanted us to be completely alone. And he was right, it was absolutely the right thing to do.

People seemed perplexed that we didn't want a 'wedding car', we didn't want to be chauffeured - it just wasn't important to us. We love our car and when the mud is washed off it looks pretty respectable, and the chance to be completely alone meant so much more to us than a hired car ever could.

We chatted away, he told me how he’d spent his morning, and of how our girl cat, Tinker, had followed him wherever he went the night before, making him laugh and putting him at ease. I sat in the passenger seat with my dress bundled up around me and we giggled and chatted all the way.

4. The photographs

We’d chosen a spot off the beaten track to have some photographs taken. Our photographer, Katie, is an old friend of mine and it was an absolute delight to have her photograph our wedding. I donned my wellies and we traipsed over long grass into a clearing in the trees. Later we wandered hand in hand down the pathway, and also had some shots taken with Andy's tractor. We can’t wait to see the results.

5. Our first dance

Andy was adamant that there would be no first dance and I wasn’t keen on the idea but I did want to dance with him on our wedding day. I’d asked all of my guests make a song request and a few requested Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud, which I love. So, I asked the DJ to play it near the end of the evening (when Andy was more likely to dance), followed by my bridesmaid’s wedding song, You & Me by Dave Matthews Band, followed by his parents song request (also their wedding song).

Technically we first danced to a snippet of The Eagles, Take It Easy (one of Andy's all time favourite songs) but when the DJ saw us on the dance floor he switched to Ed Sheeran, Andy protested a little but stayed with me chatting, and laughing at his friend's reluctant appearance on the dance floor.

When my bridesmaid heard the start of their song, she ran to the dance floor with husband in hot pursuit. It was so lovely to see them dancing away, bringing back memories of their wedding and mixing them with ours. Next up was his parent's wedding song, Leo Sayer, When I Need You. Andy was so sure that his Dad wouldn’t dance, I was delighted when I saw his Mum heading for the dance floor, dragging his Dad behind her. This prompted a round of applause from both Andy and I, and his sister and her husband who had joined us. Happy doesn’t even begin to describe it. It was such a lovely moment.

6. My speech

It wasn’t the speech itself that I enjoyed but the kindness of those listening. I was visibly nervous and Andy pulled me close to him as I spoke, everyone laughed in the right places and as I looked around I could see I’d touched people with my words.

I’d told Andy that I was just going to say a few words of thanks but when I started to write it all down I realised there was so much more I wanted to say. I’d written two versions (one long, one short), telling myself that I didn’t have to say much if I didn’t want to, at the last minute I decided to go for it and I’m so glad I did. It was the only speech of the day and I felt really rather chuffed with myself.

7. Getting ready with my bridesmaid

This didn't really begin until the lady doing our hair and make up arrived. With my hair done, Siobhan had hers curled and put into a waterfall plait, once her make up was done, she got dressed and things started to seem real. Very real. I was sat there in a robe, bare faced and a little overwhelmed. Nerves really started to kick in. My photographer had arrived and the room buzzed!

Everything from here went very quickly indeed and Siobhan was amazing throughout, calm, helpful and thoughtful, I don't think I could've done it without her. She also took her defeat in the Lego speed contest at the wedding breakfast in good spirits...

8. The Lego speed contest

We put some small Lego sets on the table for the younger ones to play with. What followed prompted this Facebook post from my sister-in-law;

'Funniest moment after the wedding ceremony was the Lego speed contest between Tom and Siobhan. Both contestants carefully laid out their pieces in a methodical fashion, one of them cited sabotage when their time slipped away.... The same claimant had failed to tip the box out completely - comedy gold'.

9. Leaving the ceremony

Andy and I held hands and walked out of the room, only we've never had to walk side by side with so much dress in the way. I marched on oblivious as Andy struggled to keep up, trying not to step on the dress. The result looked like I was dragging him out like a naughty child.

10. A little help from my friends

After dancing for a while I needed to head outside to cool down. I went up to one of my friends, Jane, who was flanked by two male friends and said 'will you come outside with me a hold my dress up?' They all answered 'Yes!'. Having told the men to stay put, Jane helped me to hold my dress so I could cool down, I thought we were out of eyesight but another friend spotted us and came out to help - queue lots of girlie chat and giggling with my dress up around my thighs. I just hope there are no photos of this anywhere in existence.

As the first post post wedding I’m at little lost at where to start. We had the most amazing day and I still feel utterly overwhelmed by it all. I had no idea that one day could hold so my wonderful moments.

The day after, at a family lunch, my new sister-in-law asked me what my top ten favourite moments were. I didn’t know where to start - there were simply too many.

It was the most perfect day, everything went smoothly - without a hitch. Even the weather was kind, having promised heavy rain for over a week it was fine. Not too hot, not too sunny, no rain, no wind - just right.

The day went very quickly - as everyone said it would. But I did take a moment every so often to take a step back and take it all in. I’ve never taken so many deep breaths in one day, some to calm my nerves, some to slow my racing heart and some to help me stop and appreciate what was happening.

I wasn’t prepared for how much everyone else would enjoy the day, I knew I would, I knew Andy would (once the vows were over) but it hadn’t ever occurred to me that this was a big day for others as well. People were so damn happy. I was so touched at the outpouring of emotion, everyone willing the day to go well, everyone fully enjoying the day and helping to make it a success.


I’d thought of the day being split into three parts - before the ceremony, the wedding and wedding breakfast, and the party in the evening, but there was so much more to it than that.

Looking back we crammed so much into one day. The quiet time in the morning with my bridesmaid, the time spent getting our hair an make up done, the photographer and the before photos. My Dad arriving and time spent with him before the ceremony. The ceremony. The photos and mingling afterwards. The wedding breakfast, my speech. The drive, just the two of us, to a spot we’d picked out to for photographs. Then arriving at the evening venue and having photographs taken on Andy’s tractor. Then the evening began which had it’s own distinct parts. It all blew me away, Andy too.

Sitting in the venue, at the end of the night, waiting for our taxi to arrive, looking around at an empty room left me feeling elated. We’d done it, we were married, the day was awesome and we were both on cloud nine. By the time we got home Andy had been awake almost 24 hours, my cheeks hurt from constant smiling, I fed the cats and we sat in bed chatting until we fell asleep, literally mid sentence.

There will be more on the subject but for now, this is all I can manage. I'm still gathering my thoughts.

One of the first things that my soon to be sister-in-law said to me (after crying and squealing and buying me a pile of glossy wedding magazines) was that we should look at buying our wedding rings online.

I have to admit that this doesn't sound very romantic, but heck, time wasn't on our side and I do love a bit of an internet shop. Not to mention that fact that you're cutting out the middle man and therefore can get them cheaper than on the high street.

Andy wasn't overly excited about the prospect of a ring, in fact he won't be wearing it. Agricultural machinery and wedding bands don't really mix, so after the wedding day it'll sit in a draw to be worn (maybe) on Christmas Days until death parts us. I'm cool with that, I'd rather he keep all his fingers fully intact.


So, for Andy we decided that we didn't need anything overly extravagant. In fact what we ended up with can only be described as 'vagant', as there is nothing remotely 'extra' about it. I'd hopped onto Silver By Mail and found this steel ring for a meager sum of £14.25 (in the sale). When I told his sister, she said that steel was absolutely perfect for him. And I have to say it looks pretty good. And I kinda think it makes him my 'man of steel'. *

With his ring sorted I had a look at Diamonds 365 - the site recommended by Andy's sister - but they had nothing on the wedding bands page. I kinda gave up there, feeling all tuckered out in the decision making department for that day. I decided to get comfy with a glossy wedding magazine for the hundredth time. It was here I found a flyer for Wedding Rings Direct (with a cheeky 10% discount code).


What can I say? The process was so simple. I had no idea of the amount of styles available when it comes to wedding bands... which to choose? I found their blog post on wedding ring shapes very helpful and then set about ordering some sample rings. Put simply, you can order as many styles as you like and you're sent samples in silver to try and return within a week. Each sample ring costs just £2.40 and you're sent a pre-paid envelope to return them. You can keep the rings for longer if you need to, they just ask that you let them know. When you find the size and shape you want, you then order your actual ring in the metal you want.


I started off with 6 rings but felt I needed a thinner band, so I ordered 4 more options. They didn't have all of the samples I wanted but they sent alternative sizes / weights which where more than enough to help me make my final choice.


A few days later my wedding band arrived in a lovely box, looking all shiny and making me just a teeny bit emotional.

* Feel free to berate for being soppy.

Love

A post a week about the wedding would be easy to do, I thought. A post a week over 3 months will let me cover loads of wedding topics, I thought.

It's not that I don't have enough to write about, there is plenty to write about - more than enough - I just didn't realise just how much time I'd spend getting everything sorted. To be fair most people have longer to organise everything, three months is doable but not exactly ideal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. As an obsessive list maker this is my dream! (not the only reason I said 'yes' BTW).

Work is busy and any time that is left has been taken up with flowers, shopping, seating plans, music etc, etc... so, I'll leave you with a few snippets of the past few weeks. I'm photographing the hell out of everything, which isn't really a huge break from the norm if I'm honest, there is just currently more going on to photograph, and when I'm done I'm going to make a photo-memory-book because I'm a soppy old fool.


I've doing a #decisionoftheday daily photo on Instagram if you're interested.

See you next week!
Love

Once the venues where booked my next big task (after finding the dress!) was to get the wedding invitations sorted. I knew I'd be designing them myself, I saw no sense in asking someone else to design them for us, especially as I had a pretty good idea about how I wanted them to look. And as my friend once told me, 'why have a dog and bark yourself?'


I had them printed by Moo. I opted for the Luxe option (meaning I could have a red stripe to the edge) for the invitation and RSVP / song request card and ordered the square business cards for our gift list information. Meanwhile, I found brown envelopes to send them out in and small red envelopes for the RSVPs on Amazon, along with some shiny gold hearts. I printed several pages of stripes to cut out and use as the bands to hold everything together.

I enlisted the help of my Mum and Sister-in-law to put them together and we sat around one afternoon chatting, drinking tea and stuffing envelopes, all the while talking about the wedding.


For the RSVP envelopes we used an address stamp from The English Stamp Company, my SIL had them done in no time at all.

That evening I set about hand writing all the addresses - printing them onto sticky address labels would've been so much simpler but I wanted them to be done by hand - so I only have myself to blame for the hand cramp. It was worth the effort though.

To seal the envelopes I used a small damp sponge - no on needs to lick that many envelopes in one sitting - and I can't recommend this method highly enough.


I was so excited to start receiving the RSVPs, although our first reply was a decline on account of them being on holiday, but since then we've had 3 more replies and all can attend.

People are coming...

Shiz just got real!